On the Hunt

The tension, the excitement, the sitting on the edge of your seat quite literally. 

So, for like the past week or so I've been actively Pokémon hunting with the Pokémon Go game with my roommates.
Why? Because the Legendary Birds have been released, and we're wanting to catch them.

But for whatever reason, I've been unable to catch them at all. 
And I was growing quite discouraged. 

But today, finally, FINALLY it changed.
First one bird, and then a second. And suddenly. I had caught two of the three legendary birds!!

Sooo exciting!!

However, that tense excitement, that super focus, that forgoing of my regular after work nap....has left me with a slight ache behind the eyes. 
But ah. It was worth it. So very worth it to finally have a success after multiple failures. ^^ Yay. 

Up All Night

She'd been all bright smiles and energy for the entirety of the project. So it was quite disconcerting to see her, curled up in a ball in a shadowy corner of the hallway, looking pale, and ill. 
"Taysia?" He called out cautiously, unsure how to react. "Are...you alright?" 
She looks up then, and now he sees the dark circles under her eyes, the shakiness to her hand as she waves him off. "I'm fine." she says with a wane smile. 
He chooses to approach. "You don't look fine, what happened?" 
She shrugged, looking down. "I only got a couple of hours of sleep." She admitted in a low tone. 
He blinked. A couple of hours?! He slid down the wall to sit next to her. "Why did you get so little sleep! How are you still functioning?" He demanded. 
She shrugged again. "I was needed." 
"You could have gone home hours ago!"
"Call me stubborn." 
"You are." He agreed, hesitantly rubbing her back, she tensed, but then relaxed, resting her head against her knees again with a quiet mmm in response. 

-Inspiration from staying up all night

Long Shift

There's a reason why I don't like night shifts.
And it's because I have to expend a lot more energy dealing with customers because instead of only dealing with them for 4 or 5 hours of my shift, I have to deal with them the entire 8 hour shift.
And with so much interaction and not a lot of tasking....
It tires me out rather quickly.
Drains my energy levels rather quickly.
Tenses me up rather quickly....

And so I'm no longer really surprised when I end up with a slight headache as I get off of work.
Because I'm taxed out by the end of my evening shift.
I can't handle the energy strain any more.
And it seems to manifest itself into a headache. *exhales*

Now to make it go away....

Me: Sooo I kinda need to socialize today.
Brain: But...but you said we'd write!!
Me: I know..I know...I'm sorry....but I kinda got to...
Brain: *huffs* 
Me: We'll try to write later I promise.
Brain: I won't feel like it later!! I want to write now!

Marked

I'd scrubbed at the mark on my hand for at least fifteen minutes now, and it didn't look any different. Desperately squeezing more soap onto my hand I tried again. "Come on come on come on AGH!!!" It wasn't coming off this odd mark that I'd gotten at work. It had to come off, I couldn't stand it. This black oval circle now on the side of my thumb. I needed it to go away. I couldn't focus with this mark here mocking me. My hands needed to be free of marks. And this one...this one wasn't letting up easy. 

-Inspiration from a conversation with a coworker

Hunting in the Heat

Slight headache today, but I think it's because of being outside in the heat, staring at a tiny screen in a tense position, as me and my roomies have been pokemon hunting like crazy today to take advantage of event currently going on. *shakes head* But I think the heat got to me, so a bit more liquid and a chance to cool down and get some rest will hopefully make the headache go away. :) 

A Hunting We Will Go

We'd been hunting for hours. For the rare creatures rumored to be hiding out somewhere among these trees. I'd seen the results of others success. More than once. But for whatever reason, my traps would not catch this elusive creature. I'd switched up the bait, the location, the timing. But to no avail. It remained elusive, and with each passing hour my hopes faded even further. Everyone else was finding it. Why couldn't I? Why was there no luck heading my way? 

-Inspiration from trying to catch a legendary creature in Pokémon Go

Me: Uh oh.
Brain: What?
Me: Now we've done it.
Brain: What?1
Me: I told someone about the story we're working on.
Brain: And?
Me: And now they're looking forward to reading it which means we kinda need to finish it!
Brain: Pssh no problem!
Me: Says the one who's had us stuck on that story for the last three months!
Brain: Don't worry. We got this! Just give me the time and we'll get it written out in the blink of an eye!
Me: So you say now, but tomorrow you'll be talking a different story.....

I Can't Stop

I couldn't relax. Couldn't stop. My hand rubbed against my arm again and again. I should stop. It's starting to hurt. But I can't stop because I can't relax. Rubbing is supposed to help with the relaxing. But it's not working. I rub harder on my arm. It hurts. I can't relax. I breathe shallowly, my eyes wide and unseeing. It will go away if I just rub harder. If I'm able to relax. But the skin is red, it's starting to tear to bleed, and yet I still can't stop. Because I can't relax. I. can't. relax.

-Inspiration from an animal at work that was self harming. 

Eat!

Apparently trying to multitask watching a show and writing on my computer along with trying to work on an empty stomach is enough to tense me up and give me a slight headache behind the eyes. *exhales* 
Note to self: Eat more food. 

I Woke Up Light This

Apparently I slept tense last night, because even though I got enough sleep, I woke up this morning with a slight headache. >.< Go figure on how that was supposed to work. I didn't have a headache when I went to bed and suddenly I do when I wake up? So, irritating.
However, some meds, distractions, and heat packs later and the headache was as good as gone. Yay.

Should Have Called Out

I woke up about 45 minutes before my alarm went off with my head in pounding pain of the headache from last night. It was awful, tear inducing and unstoppable. 
I ended up taking meds, taking a hot shower, and seriously debated about calling into work and just not going in today.
However responsible me is loathed to call out. Especially when I had no idea when the next person would be in in my department. :S So even though I felt weak, and I was in pain enough to make me cry, and just wanted to curl up in bed.
I went. 
And unfortunately had to stay, as even though I tried to switch shifts with my coworker, they refused for good reasons. 
And I couldn't leave my work in a lurch if I left early too because we were already short staffed as it was this morning. *exhales* 
But thankfully, work usually works it's magic to get rid of my headache, as I do a lot of cleaning which helps to relax my tense muscles and release the tension in my head. Plus a generous gift of a soda by a friend helped as well to get me through my work shift without incident.

Need Sleep

I think my lack of naps the last couple of days has finally hit me, despite my efforts to head it off.
I've ended up with another headache....a strong one behind the eyes that is making me feel slightly ill. 
Pretty sure that sleep will help to get rid of it.
Hopefully.

Me: Brain are you doing alright?
Brain: Yah? Why?
Me: Because you're plotting out how to decorate our giant fish tank instead of story ideas.
Brain: Because we NEED a CHANGE and CHANGING the fish tank is the PERFECT THING to do. 
Me: But....writing?
Brain: Later. Later. Right now. REDECORATING!!!

If I Ever -Buy A Home

If I Ever get a ton of money.
Like you know, win the lottery, get a huge inheritance from some great great aunt I've never heard of, suddenly get noticed by some rich person who wants to throw money at me...

I think it would be fun to use some of that money to buy myself a house, or build myself a house.

And then, if I had friends in need, or if I wanted roommates...

I might not charge them rent. 
Because I would own the house and not owe money on it.

So I would have friends living with me, and they could save the majority of their paychecks for other things. 

I would just require them to help pay utilities. 

And then...instead of rent.
Make them do the dishes. 

Because ugh. I hate dishes. 

So if I had my roommates in charge of the housework. 
Then I could relax, they could save money...

And yah.
It could all work out!

....Maybe. We'll see.
I may end up deciding to charge rent -though at a lower price than they'd find elsewhere, just for maintenance issues and other small things that pop up that require more money....

We'll see. 
We'll see.

Too Hot

Ended up with a slight headache today, I think mostly from being in the heat for longer than my body could tolerate. Thankfully a bit of advil and a bit of water seemed to help it all go away. :) Yay.

Better Alone

The smile slipped off my face the same instant my hand dropped from waving goodbye to the others. I exhaled, jangling my keys as I moved down the silent line of cars, heading to my own. Another evening wasted. Another evening feeling like the outsider I was. I slipped into my car, finding peace in the solitude there. I didn't know why I kept going to these things. It wasn't like the results ever changed, though I found myself still hoping that they would. I flicked on the engine, gearing up to pull out. Next time. I told myself. Next time I would say no. It was better to stay home in my room than to try and socialize with people who don't want to socialize with me. 

-Inspiration from seeing a movie

Helping Out

Work had been a nightmare, I thought as I forced myself to keep moving down the hallway to my apartment. With half of my coworkers out with some sort of bad stomach bug, I had been left to try and help almost the entire store because at that moment I was basically the only one who hadn't yet caught the bug. A hand drifted down to my stomach and I grimaced. I really hoped I wouldn't catch it, but by judging how I was feeling now....I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it to my shift tomorrow. Hopefully rest would fix it. We couldn't afford to lose another worker for a week. 

-Inspiration from being called into work.

A Chance to Eat

I didn't know why I kept doing this to myself. Maybe it was just the thought of possibly getting free food that kept me coming to the crowded parking lot. After all, with a dozen different food trucks circled about and people mingling all over meant that there was more of a chance that I could get in, that I wouldn't be noticed. But every time it was the same. People noticed me. How could they not with my patched and ragged clothes. A beggar was automatically viewed with suspicion, watched more closely.
I stuck my hands in my pockets, feeling the holes in the lining there as I moved back towards the exit, once again without any food. I could see the half eaten foods in garbage cans of the meals that people hadn't liked, but I couldn't exactly go diving into them right now. Not when people watched the poor person like a hawk. I exhaled, shuffling off to a shadowy corner. I should stop coming to these things, I barely ever got food from this place, but still, I had hope that one day it would work out and I could get a bite of one of those delicious scents that wafted through the air. One day.

-Inspiration from going to a Food Truck Round-Up

Waiting For Who?

I didn't know who else would be coming. I mean, I had a list of names, but I'd never met these people before. They were friends of my friend, the one person I would know...who hadn't yet shown up.
I leaned against the column, fiddling with my phone, though I was discreetly checking out the people who were hanging out near the theatre, wondering who else would be joining us for this little outing. Was it the two guys there? Probably not since my friend didn't often talk about guy friends. Maybe those two blondes there? Had I seen them before?
Relief washed through me as I looked to the doors to see my friend walking in with another girl, waving to me and to the two others I'd just been studying. I relaxed, moving away from the column to greet my friend. Finally, someone here I knew. 

-Inspiration from going to see a movie

Brain: *conglomerates seven different story ideas into one random movie like trailer* 
Me: Well....that's fun....but hardly helpful with focusing on ONE story, Brain.
Brain: *grins*

Go Away Headache

More stress. Possibly too much sugar in my diet causing me to get headaches because sugar doesn't help when the body is stressed. Plus...dealing with people I don't want to deal with...

So yah...another headache come to annoy. >.< Ugh.

Me: Brain! What's going on? My words are so stilted when I write. It's so difficult.
Brain: *error* 
Me: Hello?
Brain: *error* Does not comprehend. *error* 
Me: Noooo!!!

Too Repetitive

It started with my coworker, one that I usually don't see that often as they usually work short evening shifts. So if I do see this coworker, it's usually only briefly as I'm clocking out and they're clocking in. 
But for the past week, they've been working longer shifts, which means our shifts have overlapped by a few hours. 
Which isn't a big deal, usually it's great to have overlapping shifts.

Only, I've found it difficult to be around this coworker.
Because of the type of energy they're giving off.
It's just hard to tolerate it, especially when I've had low energy levels all week. 
Normally this isn't hard to avoid. Just go do other things and stay away from the coworker.
But the coworker has been in a chatty mood all week, and likes to stick nearby to talk.
Which again isn't a bad thing...

Only, every time I see the coworker, they end up telling me the same four stories they told me the previous shift. 

And after a fourth or fifth repeat....it gets a little antagonizing. 
Which it did, today, when the coworker brought up their favorite topics again. 

I wasn't in the mood to deal with it. I already was low on energy.
and so I found myself with an ache behind my eyes.
Which I tried to head off by taking meds and a brief nap later on, but no good.
It still lingers, probably because I'm still tense by something or another. Other minor issues and such. 
*exhales* 

Footwear

It seemed too good to be true. Clutching the handful of bills in my hands, bills I'd found on the ground, I cautiously entered the store. I flinched as a chime sounded above my head, nearly fleeing at that sound alone. It was too good to be true. But here I was, feeling like I was walking into a trap. Licking my lips I moved quickly down the aisle, hoping that I would be able to avo---
"I can I help you Ma'am?" A woman's voice asked from behind. I whirled, offering a smile as I took a step back. 
"No. No I, I'm fine." I said clenching the money in my hands. "Browsing for now." 
The woman gave me an up and down glance, judging my worn clothes with a single raised eyebrow. "Alright." 
I nodded to her and backed away slowly. Really I was just browsing. I had a handful of bills, but if there were no shoes were on sale, I would be unable to get the shoes I desperately needed for the winter weather. Still, I searched every tag I saw, looking for a number that indicated I could purchase the shoes. It didn't matter on the color or the style, so long as they would keep my feet dry I would purchase the first ones I could affo---There!
I pulled the box off the shelf with fumbling fingers. The price was right, but would the shoe be the style I'd needed or would it be a stupid, I exhaled. Sandals. I didn't need sandals. I needed shoes. Covered shoes. Placing the box back I moved on. Come on, please. I had found the money, shouldn't that mean that I could find the shoes too?

-Inspiration from shoe shopping today

Continuation

The headache was a vicious thing. 
Holding it's tenacious grip on my head until the early hours of the morning. 
And only after I took a long 3am shower to relax my muscles and get the pounding in my brain to stop. 
But with such a major headache draining away what little energy I could accumulate.
It's no surprise that another faint one has started brewing tonight.
As I'm not getting the time I need to recuperate and recover.

Hopefully soon I'll be able to rest and relax.
Hopefully. 

Overexpended

My energy levels have been on the lower side for the past few days. Which means I get worn out a bit easier and get more sensitive to other people and their energies. 
But today, even though I'm still on the low side energy wise.
I was expending more energy than probably was good for me.
Why?
Because today is my Birthday, and while I wasn't really interacting with more people than normal, I was making an effort to be more upbeat and cheerful than I already am. Which means more energy being given out...than I was getting back. 
And since I was already low energy wise....
This just set me over the edge.
I tried to prevent it. The headache from coming. 
It didn't work.
It's been lingering all evening.

Hopefully though, I'll be able to recover enough to be able to work in the morning. :) 

Feeling for Others

It's annoying when people jump to the worst conclusions about something that has happened. 
Like they assume that you meant the worst possible thing and totally take it waaaayyy out of control. 
When in reality, it's a simple tiny mistake or misunderstanding.
That could have easily been corrected quietly and quickly.
And didn't need to be blown up out of proportion.

It's annoying because some people just like to create drama where there really isn't any drama....

But the most annoying thing is that when I see the misunderstanding happening, when I see things starting to blow up out of proportion....I want to fix it.
I want to tell them and show them how the misunderstanding is happening and guide them to the proper line of reasoning for them to see that this is what was actually meant to happen. 
I want to jump to the defense of the poor soul who had the misfortune to be at the wrong end of the other person's ire. I want to do so much....

And the stress of wanting to help out and being unable to.
The stress of trying to think of solutions to a problem that isn't even my own.
The stress of wanting to know what happened, of wanting to see the issue resolved in a positive manner....

Ends up giving me a headache. Y_Y ugh. 

A Challenge

A flight of stairs. It should have been as simple thing. But for me that flight of stairs seemed to tower before me like Mount Everest. I gripped the handrail wishing that I could just run up the stairs like I used to. But that, if it would ever be possible again, was still a while away from me. For now...I took a breath and lifted up my foot, tightening my grip on the railing as I worked to keep my balance. One step at a time. One. Stupid. Step. At. A. Time. I would do this, and I would do it faster and faster until I could run up these steps I struggled with now. 

-Inspiration from off the top of my head. 

Lacking

Not sure why I ended up with a slight headache. Though considering it was fast Sunday it's not surprising. I think I end up with headaches most fast Sundays. It must be the tension of making an impression in church along with the lack of food and liquids....Yah I can see why a slight ache will develop behind my eyes. 

Me: *nudges brain* Let's write!
Brain: Meehuggghhh tiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeddddd
Me: Brain!!! Come on!!!;
Brain: Leave me alone. Sleep. SLEEEEEPPP
Me: *throws up hands in the air* You're impossible to work with you know that?