My Spot

"Next time I want you to sit up front." 
I froze, looking back into those bright blue eyes. Sit...up front?
A shiver crawled up my spine.
Why in the world would I want to do that?
Feeling everyone's eyes on me? Having the teacher being able to see exactly what I was writing in my notebook of thoughts?
It was an instant headache waiting to happen. Why in the world would I consent to something that would make me instantly stressed out? 
No. No thanks.
I smiled and shook my head. "No, I won't." I called over my shoulder as I walked out the door.
I chose my seat in the back of the classroom for a reason. To avoid the eyes. To avoid the stress. Next time I came to this class I would be sitting where I was most comfortable and at ease. 

-Inspiration from church.

>.< 
My manager triggered a headache.
By asking me if I had a headache.
When I didn't have one before. 
*exhales*

But wouldn't you know?
Within like an hour or so of asking that question.
An ache developed behind my eyes. 
Caused probably from the tension of dealing with customers. 
With having to socialize.
Gah.

It's annoying to end up with the ache behind my eyes from stress. From all the talking and people pleasing and such.

>.< 
I just want it to go away. 

I woke up with a slight headache this morning. 
From sleeping tense apparently as my shoulders ached when I finally pulled myself from dreamland.
Thankfully it faded pretty soon after I got up. Leaving once I got a heatpack placed against my spine and some food in me. ^^;;

A Resting Place

The kitten curled up in my lap, softly purring as she closed her eyes, leaning into every stroke of my fingers. 
"Awww." I cooed softly, smiling down at the precious tiny bundle that had chosen me to rest upon. "You're so cute like this." I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay like that forever....only I knew....I exhaled. "But I have to get back to work, little one." I whispered. "You can't rest here." 

-Inspiration from playing with the kittens at work

Leaving

Ten minutes to two.
I frowned as I heard the familiar beep of someone clocking out of their shift.
I glanced up, watching my coworker as he walked by without a word, heading out of sight.
"Did he....just clock out ten minutes early?" I asked aloud to my manager. 
My manager looked up to the clock above our heads, and then spun to the door. "You saw him clock out?" 
"Yah. Just barely." 
The grooves deepened in my manager's forehead as he turned, scrawling a note to himself on the pad of paper sitting there. "He didn't have permission to do that." He mumbled. 

-Inspiration from work.

Ended up getting a headache within the last hour or so.
Possibly from not eating enough food? Though it only occurred AFTER I hate things...so maybe it's something else. Stress? Not enough liquids? More stress? Too much sleep? I did take a longer nap than planned...so yah. maybe it's that.
Or you know...stress.....that's probably the main one. 

Brain: THREE IDEAS! I HAVE THREE IDEAS!
Me: Great...but you do realize we can only write one at a time.
Brain: *whimpers* But...THREE! All at the SAME time!
Me: That's impossible.
Brain: *throws tantrum and refuses to write any of them.*
Me: *exhales* 

It's been a twingy sort of day.
Like I haven't had a true headache.
But throughout the day...mostly towards the evening.
I've gotten these little throbs behind both eyes. Switching off.

Just like "throb pain gone." Nothing that lasts longer than like maybe five minutes?
Which probably means that my body is like "You're stressed. HEADACHE!" but for whatever reason I haven't yet....gotten that headache? *exhales* Who knows why that is.
But at least it hasn't arrived....yet.

It was a faint ache when I woke up this morning. Behind my eyes. 
Again.
So irritating.
And as I had to interact with customers at work...it only got worse.
A pounding ache behind both eyes.
Throbbing there.

Meds weren't helping.
But thankfully some caffeine seemed to do the trick. 
To help get rid of it. 

The headache behind my right eye was still there this morning. Still aching. Still draining my energy away. Tylenol seemed to do nothing. Advil...only slightly helped. Sleep only worked until I opened my eyes. And heat...heat was alright. It helped the ache be less annoying.

But it seemed like the main thing that worked to help the headache go away today was to go out and walk about. Explore. Get distracted with pretty things and just not think about thoughts that have been tumbling about my head.
Thankfully this up and aboutness has helped keep the headache at bay, so I haven't been suffering from it all day. Yay. 

I think I ended up with two headaches today.

I had one when I woke up this morning. Which is never fun. It was behind the left eye and was irritating for the first little bit of work, but thankfully went away.

The second one came after I'd come home from work and after I took a nap.
Probably slept wrong or the wrong length or something.
At least it varied itself though, taking up a place behind my right eye.
Meds and a shower haven't really helped it go away.
So I can only hope that more sleep will do the trick...

I woke up with a headache this morning.
Which...I wasn't quite surprised to have happen.
As there was that tired ache behind my eyes last night when I went to bed. The tired 'my eyes have been open too long' sort of fuzzy head thing.

But still.
Today wasn't a good day to wake up with a headache.
Because we had our new DM coming into the store today.
Which meant that I really needed to be present today at work to help with opening and make sure the department looked nice and such.

Ugh. Seriously though I hate these kind of headaches. 
It's like....a car that has a light on on the dashboard only you don't know what the light signals. Is it more sleep? Is it tension? Is it more water? Who knows!

But it's like I'm just puttering along...trying to get through the day.
And when finally the headache starts to break up and go away...it's like the brain kicks into gear. It 'wakes up' and becomes more active and it's just....weird...going from zombie to wide away. 

In any case.
Work itself was a semi struggle.
Thankfully the headache was the 'dull' variety.
So I wasn't feeling good and it ached.
But it wasn't skull splitting pain and wasn't making my stomach toss.
So woot for that.

It did it's usual rollercoaster sort of thing though.
Where the headache would get better, get worse, get better....

It usually got worse when I had to deal with customers or the vet or you know....customers. lol

But at least it was fading when I finally left work. 
And after a nap and such...it's stayed pretty much gone.
Hopefully it won't come back for a while. But we'll see. 

Me: *staring at all my half finished fics*

Brain: You know what might kickstart our creativity and convince us to come back and finish all these?

Me: what?

Brain: STARTING A NEW FIC! I mean, if we finish that one, then we can finish all these other ones too. 

Me: <.< *glancing back to all those half finished fics we started for that exact reason* Okay…sounds fake…but okay. 

I ended up with a bit of a pulsating headache today.
One that would come and go.
Mostly it seems to be affected by movement.

And was triggered when I woke up to a message on my phone that was...well I took it as stressful lol. *shakes head* So probably overreacted to it internally even if when answering said message went well with no drama like my brain was predicting would happen.

But then there was a four hour drive and just...the stress of those around me and.....yah.

It's been a pulsating type of headache.
Hopefully it won't stick around tomorrow. 

Hot

"How do you people live in this heat?" I complained, darting into the shade of a building as we walked down the block. "I'm sure my phone's melted by now from how hot it is." 
Clarissa laughed. "Some of us actually like the heat, Mary." 
I groaned. "You're all crazy." It had to be a hundred a ten today. At least. And only getting hotter it felt like. 
"You're the crazy one, sis. Who ever wants to be in the cold?  It's unnatural."
"It's easier to get warm than to get cool." I muttered. "I don't sweat myself into a puddle." 
"No you become blue like an icicle." 
"Do not."
"I have pictures."
I groaned. "Just...can we go somewhere with AC? Please. I'm dying."
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "This way." She called gesturing me to turn right. "I'll get you to somewhere cooler." 
I sighed with relief. "Good." 

-Inspiration from being in 100 degree weather. 

Me: We will write all day! 
Brain: Okay! What are we writing?
Me: What do you mean? We can write--
Brain: A lot of things yes...but like...I'm not feeling it.
Me: FEEL it!
Brain: But...I'm not.
Me: *struggles to write all day* GAH! BRAIN!
Brain: *shrugs*

A Race

A small smile played on my lips as I pressed the pedal to the floor, aiming to catch up to my opponent racing off in the distance. 

It was only a matter of time. I was a master at speed and my opponent...well they had a fair shot at it I supposed.

But even with my slight hiccup with the start of our face, I remained confident that I would catch up to them before the race ended. 

I'd done it before.

I would easily do it again. 

-Inspiration from driving.

Brain: *working diligently on story*
Me: *suspicious stare*
Brain: What?
Me: *blinks* Nothing....just....
Brain: ???
Me: You're not going to try and distract me? You actually...want to see this story to the end?
Brain: Ye-es? Unless you want me to distract you with another idea, of course I can--
Me: NO! No. Carry on! I'm good. ^^;;
Brain: >.> *shrugs* *resumes diligently working on story* 

Me: Alright! Let's finish this story!
Brain: *distracted*
Me: >.> What?
Brain: NEW IDEA!!!! *sparkle sparkle* 
Me: But our current.
Brain: Gotta write it now!!! *zooms off* 
Me: *exhales* Whhyyyy?!

Never Forget

The skyline hasn't been the same.
It can't be the same.
Not after everything.
Yet, still. I want it to be the same. I want to return to the time before the skyline changed, and with it the world.
I exhale, turning back from the double spotlights in the sky.
Returning into the apartment we had bought together.
That we were supposed to be....together.
If only...if only the skyline hadn't changed. 

-Inspiration from 9/11

Ended up with another headache today. 
Mostly due to spending like four or so hours staring at Yu-gi-oh cards, shuffling through them.
But the hot dry heat that I'm not as used to, and the lack of food and water during that time period probably also influenced the pulsing ache that moved up behind my eyes.

As a bit of time lying down, some meds, and food & water definitely helped it to go away. Woot. 

Me: Huh, this story is going pretty well. 
Brain: You know what that means?
Me: ()_() Oh no.
Brain: Let's...COMPLICATE IT!
Me: *exhales* -_- how about no? How about we keep it simple.
Brain: Complicate!
Me: Simple!
Brain: Complicate!
Me: Simple!
Brain: *complicates story* 
*story sits half written forever*
Me: >.> *whispers* Simple. *finishes story* Ha! 
Brain: *pouts* *throws hands up in the air* I gueeess! 

It's probably the stress of a) being in a new place and b) having to deal with hotter temperatures than I'm used to.
But I ended up with an ache behind my eyes again.
The sort of ache of either I need to drink more water or I got the wrong amount of sleep.

I didn't end up taking any meds for it though.
A bit of rest, a slight massage, and some food seem to have helped it go away. So yay! 

There was a slight ache behind my right eye when I woke up today. It persisted for most of the day...possibly residual tension from yesterday's more major headache.
Added into the stress/tension of driving all day....probably didn't help it....when driving in an unfamiliar area.
Though thankfully sometime through our hours long trek across the deserts the headache did vanish.
So Yay! :D

I woke up to a headache today--migraine? 
Who knows.
It wasn't as bad as other migraines I had had in the past.
Not nuclear.

But oh...it wasn't fun. 
It was one of those persistent things that just...drained the energy away. 
One of those persistent headaches that made it difficult to stand up right.
That made my stomach twist.

That had me fleeing work early because I couldn't stand to be around customers as their energy was negatively effecting mine. 

*exhales*
It's a good thing I went home, I suppose. It allowed me to rest. To regather some faded energy.
But gah. I hate leaving work early. 

Fighting a headache once more.
Probably tension.
Most likely tension.
*exhales*
Note to self.
RELAX ALREADY

I've had an ache behind my eyes for most of the day.
I don't quite know if it's been there since I woke up.
But it definitely was there throbbing throughout most of my shift.
Which made tolerating said shift a bit more difficult.
Because it's hard to focus when your eyes hurt and your back hurts and like....there's this pounding in your head.

*exhales*
It's not even a migraine...I don't think.
It's just one of those irritating mini headaches that's constantly there.
Is it from tense muscles? From a different work schedule? From not sleeping well? From meeting our new manager?

Who knows.

It's just left me drained though.
Not really wanting to do anything.
Or be anywhere.
Besides curled up in bed with my eyes closed. 

*exhales*
Hopefully it passes soon. 

Brain: *shuffling rapidly through story ideas*

Me: *groans* Just. Pick. One.

Brain: But which one which one which one which one which one?????

Me: JUST ONE!

Brain: *still undecided* 

Me: Just....forget it. Come back to me when you're not spinning like this, okay?

It's the first Sunday of the month which means.....
Yep.
Fast Sunday headache.

*exhales*

It only hit after church though. Silly thing. 
Resting behind my right eye, moving to the left, and now is back behind the right.
It goes away temporarily but hopefully some sleep will make it go totally away before work in the morning.

I ended up with a headache at work today.
Not quite surprising since it's a Saturday, which means mostly customer service related tasks.
But still annoying because it was one of those headache that didn't want to go away with simple meds.
It's stuck with me throughout the day, coming and going in and out of notice. 
Hopefully some rest will help it fade.
But really. Who knows at this point.
At least it's just a faint ache right now and not a throbbing thunderstorm of pain.