Haunted?

My heart pounded in my chest as I cracked open my door to peek out into the dark hallway. Trying to keep my breathing steady I edged out, my attention automatically drawn to the empty bedroom I had to pass by. 
It wasn't fully empty, no the extra bedroom had become a storage room of sorts, but no one lived in that room and so I always felt a little bit awkward walking past it.
Because really, a bedroom should be lived in.
I had closed the door a week earlier because the open space just gave me the jitters. But that wasn't all.
Taking another breath I took a step forward. Tense. Watching the doorway.
I walked past the first half of the frame.
Another step.
Still nothing.
I reach the other side of the doorframe. 
Still nothing.
I relax, breathing out a sigh of relief and took another step.
A bright flash of light shown behind me. A quick FLASH before I was left in darkness once more. Blinking away the after images even as I broke into a run.
Not again 
Not again
Not again

I reached the light switch, flicking it up with as much force as I could muster as I turned to see....
Nothing.
Breathing raggedly I leaned against the wall.
Again.
It had happened again.
The bright flash of light.

Seriously, I was beginning to doubt my sanity.
There was literally nothing in that bedroom nor in the hallway that could case such a blinding flash to happen this early in the morning.
Yet, consistently it happened.
Same time, same place.....and only I was experiencing this odd phenomena. 

-Inspiration from a roommate conversation

Detoured

I glared down at the freshly laid black top before lifting my eyes to the man in orange, waving at me to go a different way. My hands tightened on the steering wheel as I briefly, very briefly, considered hitting the gas and just zooming around him and through the orange plastic barriers that proclaimed "Road Closed." 
Seriously!? I just needed to get home. Quickly. As fast as possible. And here the construction workers were barring my way. The only way up to my house. Honestly I could see my driveway from here if I just craned my neck. 
But the man continued waving me away.
And exhaling, I signaled right, turning to go an unblocked way. 
It looked like I would need to walk home once I found a place to park my car. 
And in this heat. I wasn't looking forward to it at all. 

-Inspiration from construction work on my street. 

A Little Interference

The nap should have prevented it.
But it didn't.
It wasn't like it was even a long nap. 
Twenty minutes or so.
I should have woken up feeling more awake.
Not suffering from yet another headache.

*exhales*
At this point I'm wondering if I'm just going through withdrawals from taking too many meds to try and make said headaches go away. *shakes head* 

But I'm guessing I laid down just long enough for my muscles to tense up from the slight excited tension I've been under all day.
And therefore.
Gave me this annoying slight ache behind the eyes. 
>.< 

And Still It Lingers

It's been on the right side of my head for most of the day.
Just that faint ache behind the eye, going down to the shoulder.
That gets worse if I move too quickly...
Which made for a rather careful day at work.

And I only antagonized it later by being tense while writing and trying to help out roommates and editing and worrying and gah....

I need to stop causing myself headaches. 

>.< 

The Wrong Length of Nap

I took the wrong length of nap apparently. XP 

So I ended up staying up late last night.
Waaaayyy too late considering how early I had to get up this morning.
Meaning I only got like 4 hours of sleep...
Which left me rather tired.
So when I was able, I decided to go crash and take a nap after I was done for the day.

But apparently the nap I took....was the wrong length.
Probably too long.
As I woke up with an ache behind my eyes, traveling to the top of the skull and also heading down into the shoulders.
Just one of those groggy headaches. 

....that is refusing to go away.
It has its moments of being less present than others.
But it's still there.
Lurking.
Waiting to flare up if I move my head wrong or too quickly or whatever.

*exhales* 
Hopefully it fully disappears soon.
I don't need another nuclear headache to contend with twice in a week. 

Under Development

It had crept upon the hill almost unnoticeably. A small pile of dirt here, the mound of pipes there. To those who weren't observant...it would have gone unremarked upon.
But for me, where this field had been a place of solace, a place to escape, a place to have on my own...
It spelt out the last days of my happy place.
For the sign had just gone up, the dump trucks were rolling in along with the cement mixers and diggers. 
My quiet meadow was now under development.
I stood on the edge of the sidewalk. My hoodie pulled over my face to hide my features, my hands clenched within the single large pocket. 
Sanctuary. Oh so brief. 
I stared for as long as I could. Taking in the last precious mental pictures of the spot that had been my go to for so long.
Because now, now I would need to go elsewhere for relief.
You can't find peace when the construction workers are there.
There is no isolation in this field.
It's now...commercialized.

-Inspiration from seeing an empty field beginning to get developed. 

Gone Nuclear

It went nuclear last night.
The headache.
It's a good term for it.

I was right in thinking that sleep may not help.
It didn't.

The headache just got worse.
Pounding.
Thudding.
Banging.

Like a hot poker being drilled into my skull.
It hurt.
Agonizing.
Scream inducing.
Tears a welling.
Curled in a ball.
Wishing for it to go away. 

It only went away after I took some stronger meds. 
Which always leave me feeling so drained and tired. 

*exhales*

Now I'm trying to prevent an aftershock headache from coming on.
Because I don't need another restless night. 

Stressing Myself Out

I probably should have realized it would happen.
With how restless I was sleeping last night, with how much my brain was running laps around my skull twisting and turning with random story ideas, psyching myself up into a story telling fervor, while I was busy working....
With the added information that we had a DM visit to work earlier this week while I was gone, and that in this visit the DM hadn't approved of how the store had looked, had threatened to fire all the managers if it doesn't improve by next week...
With this knowledge causing stress in the back of my head even though I'm not a manager....the fact that I care about other people's problems.

With the addition of trying to take a nap and it not helping at all....

I shouldn't be at all surprised that I ended up with a headache this evening.
One of those pounding things that doesn't like meds and just makes you feel sick to your stomach.
One of those headaches that was made worse when I ventured into noisy territory of a Food Truck Roundup that had crazy live music playing super loud....

It's all too much for my senses.
all too much for my head.
It aches.
oh it aches.

And I don't know if sleeping tonight will help it or not. 
Guess we'll see....

Traveling

It usually happens on road trips it seems like.
Where just the long hours in the car seem to get to me.
Plus probably the restless sleep I had the night before.
Made me rather tense, and tired, and I dunno...
Prone to headaches.

As one began to build on the drive back home. 
And hadn't left by the time I made it home.
Though thankfully a bit of sleep helped to ease it away.
So I could actually focus. 

Baking...War?

"Ann?" 
"Mmmm?" 
"What are you doing?" 
She paused, glancing over her shoulder. "Doing?" 
"With those barrels?" 
She grinned, a wicked glint in her eyes. 
"I'm just baking."
I raised a skeptical eyebrow. "With flour and....gunpowder?" 
She laughed and winked. "Yes!" 
"....you can't bake with gunpowder..." I mean, you could use it to start the fire, but why would she need a whole barrel of it? 
"I'm not just baking a cake silly." She said hefting the barrel of flour. Her grin turned devilish. "I can also bake war!!" She cackled and disappeared downstairs into the dungeon, aka her lab. 
I rubbed the side of my face. "Do I even want to know?" I muttered, glancing down at my half finished list of supplies I'd been writing down. "Yes. Yes I do." I stood up abruptly, the chair making a squeal as I shoved it back and ran down the stairs. "Ann!! You can't blow up the castle!!" I yelled.

-Inspiration from the image of a woman holding a barrel of flour and a barrel of gunpowder under each arm. 

The Fading Sun

He staggered against a wall, cursing his luck as the light from the sun around him became dimmer, felt cooler. Reaching out a shaking hand he snapped his fingers....for nothing to happen. "An eclipse." he mumbled. It had to happen now?! Right when he was nearly free? Dropping his hand to the wall, he pulled himself along. He'd been depending on his fire powers to get him over the last obstacle. But if there was an eclipse, his powers were now locked away from him. He ducked further into the shadows, wishing the sun would warm him instead of making him feel colder. How long did the eclipse last? He desperately tried to remember. A couple of minutes? An hour? Days? He couldn't recall through his hazy memories of the last time such an event had occurred. He had been only in his first year of school then. He hoped it was short. It had felt like an eternity when he was a kid. But really, it couldn't have been that long of an event. Could it? Whatever the case, he couldn't afford to wait here for long. Someone was bound to notice that he'd escaped by now. 

-Inspiration from the Solar Eclipse, also Avatar the Last Airbender

A Spoonful of Sugar

Sometimes you just have to take a heaping spoonful of frosting and shove it in your mouth. 
That's what I just did. I couldn't help myself.
I needed the sugar rush.
And this was the easiest and quickest way to give me that sugar rush! 
Just take a big container of premade frosting, stick in a giant spoon and pull out a heaping spoonful of the stuff. It was tasty, it was goodness, it was SUGAR!! 
I smiled to myself as I pulled the now clean spoon from my mouth. Yes. I could feel the energy coursing through me already. 
Licking my lips I skipped over to the sink to neatly deposit of my utensil before I slipped outside. 
Now. NOW I could go conquer the world in style! 

-Inspiration from eating a spoonful of frosting

In the Midst of Battle

I fumbled the packet of gunpowder from my patch, my bare fingers frozen from the cold. I hunkered down in the meager shelter of a rock, doing my best to block the rain from running down the inside of the barrel of my rifle as I tear the packet of gunpowder with my teeth and pour some of the precious powder inside, quickly stuffing the bullet in a wad of paper down after it. Again, checking to make sure the flint was cocked and ready, I lifted the gun to my shoulder, aiming with my eyes, willing my arms to stop trembling. I couldn't make the rain stop, I couldn't find warmth, but I would stop myself from getting killed for another couple of minutes. One shaky breath, and I pulled the trigger, turning my head away from the now expected explosion of fire that came from the gun. I turned quickly back to where the target had been, peering through the drizzle to see if I'd hit them, even as I lowered my weapon to reload, again fumbling for another packet of gunpowder. I couldn't see anyone, but that didn't mean I'd hit them. That didn't mean I was safe. No I was never safe. Not here, not now. I just needed to survive. Again I raise the weapon, once more reloaded, ready to fire at the first thing I saw moving. 

-Inspiration from talking to a gentleman about the Civil War

OverlyParanoid

I jerk awake to the buzzing of my phone. Blindly I reach out, hand scrambling across the side table in search of where I'd placed it when I'd gone to bed. Finally, I felt the familiar cool edge and pulled it over to me. A glance showed me the time and I groaned. 2:45 am. What in the world would be buzzing my phone at this time? A second look told me and I groaned louder. Matt was calling. I swiped up, letting my head fall back against the pillow, my eyes closing as I put the phone up to my ear. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" I complain. 
"But I just had to know if you had properly stored the sword! It's not leaning up against the wall is it? Is it close to a vent? Drafts aren't good for I--"
"It's safe. Exactly in the same spot as the last time you called. Good night, Matt." I interrupt him and hung up, letting the phone drop onto the mattress as I snuggled closer with my pillow. 

-Inspiration from sister's experience

It's Here Again

Not quite sure what caused the headache this time.
Not enough rest? A wrongfully taken nap?
The fact that I had to go interact with a stranger for an unknown period of time?
Just not drinking enough?
Getting too hot?

It's hard to know for sure what caused the headache today. But it's definitely irritating regardless of the scenario that caused it. 

If I Ever -Tree Saving

If I Ever get involved in construction....

So. the road by my work is under construction. Has been for like a year now.
Because they're widening the road...I think to help with traffic....especially during the Football season when everyone is constantly journeying to the College nearby to see the football games.

And unfortunately....in the path of that road widening. 
Are a ton of trees. 
As the street was lined with them on both sides.

And in the name of expansion....
Those trees are being taken out.
Destroyed.
Knocked down.

Which is such a depressing sight to see.
I mean, I walked out of work just as a big backhoe took a swing and snapped a young tree in half. Crrraaaaacccckkkkkk.

And I couldn't help but wonder if there was a better way?

I mean, couldn't they have just relocated the trees.
Instead of knocking them down.
Taking them out in a single swipe, after they'd been growing there for years and years?

*exhales*

So if I ever get involved in Construction...
I'd want to create a company that works to relocate trees.
So that instead of being knocked down and killed.
They can just be moved and saved and continue to help keep our air clean and such.

There'd probably be a lot of research and trial and error involved in this.
And some trees may not survive their transplant.

But at least we would have tried to save them.
Instead of what's happening to them now. 

Dithering Expectations

It may have begun before I took my lunch break at work today.
But coming off of work, after trying unsuccessfully to doze for a bit.
I ended up with an ache behind my right eye. 

And I think it's in part due to the fact that I had a customer in the store....
Who was difficult to deal with...
Asking a ton of questions I didn't know the answers to.
She'd come in originally to test her tank water to see if it was okay.

And her reason for doing so was that she'd bought a salt water tank, but was changing it over to freshwater. And she wanted to make sure the tank was safe to put freshwater fish into it. 

So I did our water test....and the results came out looking pretty normal except the Nitrates were slightly high. Which the solution to that is a partial water change and add in some live plants. 

But the woman was asking all these questions like if there was still salt in the tank and I...had no idea because our tests don't test for that?

I mean nothing appeared out of wack....

And she kept asking question after question after question about live plants, about the nitrates, about the ammonia cycle before I reassured her that the fish would be fine in the tank if she wanted to test it out. 

And so she spent a good fifteen to twenty minutes dithering over fish and which ones she wanted to get. ....before her kids convinced her that she should wait and go finish their other shopping and grabbing lunch before buying the fish.

Only....while they were gone, I ended up selling one of the fish she was thinking of getting. (because we don't hold animals, and seriously what were the odds someone would want the same fish?) 

So when she finally came back she was beyond disappointed that the one fish was gone. So her kids tried to convince her to wait until Friday when we'd get more fish in, but they ended up spending like another thirty minutes or so staring at the fish, dithering, debating, figuring out if they wanted to stick with the original plan minus the one fish, or switch to different fish all the while continuing to ask me questions....
*exhales*
It was rather stressful, as there was this energy of expectation from the woman that I wasn't quite meeting and gah....

It's no surprise I ended up with a headache from her. >.< 

The Small Problem

"It's an outrage!" She yelled, waving her receipt in front of my face with enough vigor I could have used it as a fan. "The last time I did a return they made me pay a dollar! A DOLLAR! Why did I have to pay more for the same item? I mean, it was broken. And I was just getting a new one. Shouldn't I be able to get it for the same exact price?! It doesn't matter if it was on sale then but isn't now. I shouldn't have had to pay more money!"
I let her tirade wash over me as I quickly gathered together her order, double checking that everything was in correct because I really didn't need this crazy lady to come back for a round two. It wasn't like I could do anything about her problem. I wasn't a cashier. I wasn't a manager. I honestly didn't know why she was trying to convince me that I needed to be the one to solve her problem. I had no power over it. 
Sighing quietly in relief, I tied up her order and held it out to her. "I'm sorry about that." I said offering her a smile. "But here's your order, let me know if I can do anything more to help." Which, I really really hoped she wouldn't take me up on that offer. I didn't need another fifteen minute long rant ringing in my ears. 

-Inspiration from a customer at work

Can I Get Some Quiet?

Her voice grated on my ears. It was too soft, holding just the wrong amount of caring emotion that I'd grown to associate with fake feelings. It set my teeth on edge and she'd been speaking in that manner for the past twenty minutes. I again glanced at the time on my phone, my fingers tightening around it. Not even a minute had passed! Gah! I felt like just standing up and screaming at her to shut up and be quiet or at least storm out of the room to get away from it. Why did she have to speak in such a tone? Why? It grated at my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Someone else should speak, someone else should interrupt, yet she kept talking. Uninterrupted as the others just sat and listened to her. 

-Inspiration from being in church today.

Brain at work: I'm awake! All the ideas!!!! We'll do allll the ideas!!
Brain at home: *yawns* Sooo sleepy. What is words??

New Ticket Please

I darted up the stairs, skidding to a stop in front of the ticket desk, the bag I had slung over my shoulder swinging wide to hit the desk with a loud thunk that seemed to echo around the semi-quiet room. "H-Hey!" I managed, trying to catch my breath. I shoved my hand into my pocket, searching for my ticket. I flashed the receptionist, a woman with shoulder length black hair that curled inwards towards her. "I ne--nee...sorry." I took a breath as she raised a cool eyebrow at me. "I need to exchange my ticket." I placed the slightly crumpled form on the counter. "I believe my agent called to explain the situation?" 
Her eyes flicked up and down taking in my appearance and apparently choosing to weigh and judge me for every little wrinkle in my clothing in the process before she deigned to respond to me. "Only two carry-on's are allowed on the plane at a time." She stated in a voice dripping with ice. 
I glanced to the four bags I had slung about my person. "Right. Right. I'll consolidate I promise." I assured her. Slipping my smallest duffle off my shoulder. "But, the ticket?" 
She continued to eye me before slowly, acting like I was making her touch acid, pulled the paper towards her. "You crumpled it." She frowned.
"It was just in my pocket, I'm sure it reads just fine." I said only managing to keep my smile in place. What was her deal? 

-Inspiration from a dream I had from my nap today.

Still Here

It's unfortunate....that heading to bed last night didn't take the headache away like I was hoping it would.
No, the evil thing decided to wake me up just after 230am pounding like there was no tomorrow.
Taking Meds and heading back to bed allowed me to sleep for a couple more hours...before a bad dream woke me, which in combination with my aching head and the fact that I would be needing to get up in like an hour anyways...
Kept me up.
I took a shower to try and get rid of the pounding pain.
But no go.
The headache was like a white hot poker in my skull. Behind the left eye.
And usually the only solution I've found to help it....
Is to actually go to work.
Even though I felt horrible as I drove in today. With my skull pounding like there was no tomorrow.
Mostly because when I go to work, I end up moving my arms a lot, using the tense muscles. Relaxing them. Because most of my job is cleaning. 
So cleaning helps to relieve the tension and helps to make the headache go away.

Which it did for the most part...
The thing is still lurking about, but thankfully it's faint and hopefully a good night's sleep tonight will soothe the beast of a headache away from me. 

The Wrong Group?

So my roomies and I were out Pokemon hunting. More specifically we were out looking for  raids that had legendary birds in them. Specifically the Zapdos as I hadn't yet had the chance to go catch one and the bird is only in the gym for like a week or so....and the week was already half over. :S 
Today was my first day of having time to go venture out. So me and the roomies (who've already caught their birds) went out hunting.
And found a gym that was under raid that had a ton of time left on the clock for us to be able to wait and gather a crowd of people in order to fight the legendary bird.
-As you can't take on these birds by yourself, you need a lot of people to help-

And let me say....the group that ended up gathering, like 9 of us....
Had such a weird energy/aura about them.
It was just an odd mixture of people.
That wasn't quite the nails on a chalkboard feeling, but I was definitely looking forward to fighting the bird and leaving because I didn't want to stick around too long.

Unfortunately...hanging out with that group for the time that we did....
Must have been too much for me because I've ended up with a headache. Which is NOT fun. 
*exhales* 
It may also be partially caused by me actually attempting to take a nap after work, after many days of being unable to get enough sleep....

But I'm thinking it's mostly the odd energy of those people that just caused issues.

Frustrating People

I had to deal with a rather irritating customer at work today.
Which was made slightly worse by the fact that the store had barely been open 30 minutes when she walked in the door with an attitude that didn't bode well.
The next twenty minutes were spent with this customer with me quietly growing more frustrated with her because she was acting like she expected me to know nothing about the products that she wanted to know about and wanted me to go get the 'expert.' which considering how long I've worked at the store....I'm basically the expert.

But when I get asked weird questions like: 
"Does this hairball preventative gel have calories in it? How many?" 
or "Can you recommend something to give my cat so that he'll drink water?" 
"Is this litter scented or unscented that comes in the disposable trays?" 
"I don't care what brand of food it is I just need to find beef flavored cat food where is it?"

Then I'm totally thrown for a loop.
Because a) they're weird questions and b) why in the world would it matter? or c) how did you even think there would be something like that?

It's like....I know the answers to a lot of things, but because you asked me questions I don't quite have the answers to, it makes me feel dumber and look dumber in your eyes because I 'don't know everything.' 

XP bleh. 
I could totally feel a tension headache coming on because this woman was sooo difficult to deal with and help because she was very particular in what she thought her needs were, but she wasn't giving me enough detail to be able to adequately help her meet those needs.

Thankfully, a little bit of Excedrin taken after that encounter helped to head off the headache I could feel forming.
Because I did not want to have to suffer through an 8 hour shift because of one customer. 

The Lonely Wait

I tuck my hair behind my ear as I slipped inside the ice cream shop, quickly scanning the tables to see if I recognized anyone there. I didn't. Mostly because the store was empty beyond the two employees. I bit my lip, wishing again that the windows hadn't been tinted so I couldn't see inside. I usually prefer to not be the first one there when we met up like this. I always felt awkward sitting there by myself with the staff staring at me. But it wasn't like I could just walk outside again now that I'd entered as I'd only look twice as foolish. Steeling myself to feel the worker's eyes on me, I took the closest seat, glancing out the window. Where were they? I'd come five minutes late on purpose to avoid this. Why did they have to be late too? 

-Inspiration from meeting up with people at Baskin Robbins

Me: We're soooo close to finishing this!
Brain: I know right?! It's so exciting!
Me: It is it is!!
Brain: I'm EXCITED!! *jumps up and down* 
Me: Me too! But maybe you should calm down just a tad so we can focu---
Brain: Sooo excited!! WE'RE SO CLOSE TO FINISHING!!
Me: And we'd be even closer if you'd focus....

Me: After work I'm going to write!
Brain: But work....was soo tiring. Why do we have to think more! We already thought today.
Me: But we couldn't write during work, we can write now.
Brain: I'm tired!!! I don't wanna think.
Me: *growls* 

Brain: *Humming contentedly.* 
Me: Sounds like a great time to write!
Brain: Mmmm reading is fun too.
Me: But we have time to write for once.
Brain: And read.
Me: *exhales* 

Where'd Ya Go?

It's one of those days where my brain gets more hyper active in the negative actions department.

Where I see a scenario, and automatically come up with a 'bad scenario' relating to it, which then causes me to think about how I would take care of said scenario, and what I would say and do, and basically get myself worked up over nothing.

Today's little nothing,
Was my coworker disappearing from the register and having the manager overseeing it.

As a little earlier that coworker had come to me for advice, that contradicted what the manager had said to do in the situation. And the manager realized that I'd basically said "Yes." when he'd already said "No." 

:S oops.

So I was worried, that when my coworker disappeared, it was because they'd been sent home.
The manager had been mad enough that the coworker had basically gone to someone else to get a 'yes' answer to the situation, that they'd sent them home early.

And I was getting myself worked up about it, even though I was trying not to, but I couldn't find the coworker in the store. And I was slightly annoyed that the manager would take such a drastic action, and that it shouldn't be allowed, and that my coworker should have gotten a warning first.....

Only for me to look up the next moment and see the coworker at the register again.

Apparently the manager had had them in a room I hadn't checked doing our monthly engagement videos that teach us about products in the store and safety and such. 
As the manager had me do it right after my coworker was finished. 

*exhales* 
So yah...worked myself up and tensed myself up over nothing. 
I need to stop doing that. 

Hiking There

I crouched down in the bushes, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible, trying to stay so still that they wouldn't see me. The hikers coming up to my location. 
I couldn't be sure that they'd seen me.
I hoped they hadn't.
I didn't want to be seen. 
But why else would they be up this way? Why now of all times would they choose to come to this abandoned ruin?
I hold my breath, silently staring down the intruders to my sanctuary. Willing them to go away. 
They don't. 
Not immediately. 
And for what feels like hours I crouch, tense, wondering if they'll find me. 
If they'll find my spot.
If they'll try to take me away from here.
I gritted my teeth at the thought.
I couldn't leave.
Not yet.
Not. Yet. 

-Inspiration from hiking up to an old abandoned Lime Kiln

When To Talk

Secrets are an interesting thing.
Because in of themselves, it means that the information contained within the secret isn't meant to be shared with everyone. Just a few or none at all. 

Some secrets are easy to keep. 
Others are more difficult.

Especially if you're not sure if they're a secret or not....

Like, learning two sides of a story.
Where you get to see two different people's point of views on a single issue.
And realize that the motivations of one haven't exactly been spelled out to the other.

But since you talk to both people, and now know both sides of the story....
You're left with this 'all knowing knowledge'.....
That you may or maybe should not share with the other person.

And it's this little thing.
That's kinda been niggling in the back of my mind for most of the day.
Because I now have information about a situation, from both parties.
And I'm at a loss at how to proceed now that I've acquired this information.
Should I say nothing? Say it straight out? Say it in a roundabout fashion that allows a better understanding without undermining things??

It's hard to say for sure.
Because people don't react always how you think they should.
They're unpredictable like that.

Kinda like the headaches I get....from this potential secret keeping. *Exhales* Or...I really just should have taken a nap today....Yah... probably should have done that too....