Together Again

Outwardly I smile, but inside....I'm withering. Each passing moment where we're together, me, my spouse and child...it feels like old times. 
Back when we weren't divorced.
Back when we were happy, in love, willing to spend our lives together.

Somewhere along the way things had fallen apart. My spouse, going through a midlife crisis. Everything we'd built up together, done together, thrown into a bonfire because...because I wasn't enough anymore. 
My spouse had wanted a chance to start over. To discover who they were.
And who they were apparently didn't involve me. 

I sit, at the table, feeling like old times.
Because my child, grown into a capable adult had come back from their time overseas. 
Because my spouse sat laughing at the stupid things I would say, would smile to our child and....
My hands clenched on the fork as I looked down at our meal.

It didn't feel like we were divorced.
No it felt like old times.
It felt like we were still a family.
But the knowledge I held in my head told me otherwise. 

Divorced.
Separated.
We shouldn't be getting along.
Yet we were.

I look up, keeping my smile on with an effort. 
I just wanted us to work out.
I wanted us to go back to how it was.
But until my spouse was ready, ready to join us together again.
I could only do my best to be the best I could be.
So if, no when, the time came to remarry. 
I would be able to hold my head up high and know that I'd done what I could to bring us back together.
Even if we were separated for just a little while now. 

-Inspiration from a conversation