Almost There

I slump to the ground, hand gripping my shirt over my chest as I struggled to breathe. Blast it. Blast it Blast It Blast it. I growled to myself. Why did my body have to betray me now? Only a few more minutes, another mile and it would be worth it in the end.
Shakily I pulled myself to my feet, staggering more than running but unable to do anything more. Just a few more fee---I groaned as blackness covered my vision, as my cheek hit cold pavement. As I lost more than my consciousness with my ineptitude.

-Inspiration from random thoughts.

Over Slept

I didn't meant to crash for four hours.
How was I supposed to know how tired I actually was?
...Well I knew I was tired because I didn't get much sleep the night before.
But sleeping for four hours is a bit long for a nap....
Usually it's 3 at the most.

So it was unsurprising that I had an unpleasant guest behind my eyes when I finally woke up.
I'd slept too long.

Thankfully some meds seems to have helped. :)

Cold?

"Megan!" Cody cried out in shock. "What are you doing?"
I frowned at him. "I'm helping you guys take out the trash?" I said making it a question.
I had had a spare moment to help out. After all, there was a ton of trash form work that needed to be taken out to the dumpster. More hands made quicker work.
"No! No! Why aren't you wearing a jacket!" He gestured to me and I looked down, blinking. Oh yah.
I looked up with a smirk. "It's not that cold guys." I said grinning wider at the two guys. Both of them bundled up in their heaviest coats, with hats and scarves as well as gloves. Honestly it wasn't like they were in the Artic or anything. It was just a little snow storm.
"It's freezing!"
I shrugged, spreading out my bare arms as I was only in a T-Shirt. The weather didn't feel cold. Sure snow was falling thickly, but it actually felt quite nice. "No it's not." I said with a laugh. It never would be for me.

-Inspiration from personal experience at work today.

New Beginnings

She never thought that she'd leave. Cassandra's flitted her gaze about the office, the place that had been her home for the past four years. There were so many memories here. So many good memories. The slight bent to the potted tree where John had accidentally crashed into it when he'd been fixing the tile light above. The long scratch against the boss's window from an unfortunate incident with a rat. The laughter of her coworkers as they recounted the calls that they'd gotten from customers that day. The place had been a haven against the rest of her life. A place to form bonds to call home.
And now.
She was leaving.
She blinked rapidly feeling tears welling in her eyes.
Why had everything had to change? The new boss, the stricter rules, the new policies. And one by one, her friends had gone. Day by day the laughter happened less. The lights dimmed more.
Until finally, she was the only one left.
The only one who had been hoping that things would return to how they had been. That she'd come around the corner and see Benny juggling his pens from boredom, to see Megan going for her fifth cup of coffee that morning. To hear Ashley giggle whenever she was asked a particularly stupid question.
Cassandra swallowed, her smile fading from a grin to an echo. An echo of a smile to fit the echo of memory. Trailing her fingers along the rickety desk that had been hers with regretful longing, she silently apologized. She'd stayed as long as she could. But perhaps even on the morrow, her desk of four years would have a new occupant. Perhaps.
Hitching her satchel over her shoulder, she took one last glance around the office, listening to the voices of the strangers that had been her coworkers.
"Later." She whispered aloud, mentally hearing her old group call back their own goodbyes. Lifting her head she pushed through the doors.
It was time to find a new home away from home.

-Inspiration from a random thought that popped in my head when I was thinking about people who choose to quit their jobs.

Day After Stress

It was probably a combination of things.

Probably it started with the after effects of having to deal with the Black Friday crazy the day before.
It probably was compounded upon by moving a heavy fish tank and causing my muscles to become really sore.

And then...
I had the stress of going to a game night, where I would be interacting with people. Where I would only know two of those people.
Where I was pretty confident this was a 'set up' by my friends to meet one of their guy friends and test the waters to see if we'd click or not.

Oh yes. Unknowns are stressful.

So, BlackFriday, Sore muscles, Stressful situation.
Definitely good cause for a headache.
Hopefully it fades....

Black Friday -No Surprise

It's unsurprising that I ended up with a headache today.
I mean, considering all the chaos and stress of having to work the crazy that is Black Friday....there's definitely no surprise that I got a headache midway through my shift.
I mean, first off I hadn't gotten enough sleep.
Second off I had to quickly try and open as much of my dept in an hour before we opened for the Black Friday Sales as I could (hint: I didn't get far)
And then spent the rest of my shift guiding and helping customers out who were searching for deals on tanks and cat litter and food and basically everything else.

It was crazy.
It was chaotic.
It was a ton of people for waaay too long.
So it's unsurprising that I ended up getting tense from all the different energies swirling about.
Thankfully though, I managed to make the headache go away once I was able to come home and decompress a bit and relax in the 'quiet' of the house where I didn't have to talk to anyone at all. :)

A Treat

He shrank back at the sudden onslaught of noise as the doors opened to the home. A steady hand on his back, kept him from darting back into the night. "It's alright." The man said with a warm smile down to the boy. "You're welcome here."
The teenager shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his ragged jacket. "You don't have to do this." He said quietly.
"Of course I do, the least I could do for you saving my life is to invite you to Thanksgiving Dinner with the family."
The teenager swallowed, unable to hide the hunger as the smells of Turkey, Bread, and other scents wafted over to them. "I-I.."
"Come on." The man said giving him a light shove. "They won't bite. Especially when they find out you're the reason I made it here and not to the morgue."

-Inspiration from standing in the cold outside a restaurant.

Staying Healthy

"Sam....when was the last time you ate?"
Sam frowned, his eyes still glazed as he focused more on his project than on what I was saying. "Huh?"
"When did you eat last?" I repeated again.
He shook his head looking up at the clock on the wall reflexively. "What day is it?"
I blinked. "...Thursday..." I said slowly.
He frowned, studying the clock before a hand absently brushed his stomach. "This morning then."
I stiffened. "It's nearly midnight!"
"Yes?"
"You need to eat Sam!!" I exclaimed moving forward and tugging him off the chair. "You can't survive off of eating only once a day. It's not healthy."
"Hey! I'm fine...let go. Stop!" he struggled.
"No, you're not coming back here until I get food into you." I responded firmly. "Come on Sam, food. Remember what that tastes like?"

-Inspiration from my realization I forgot to eat again.

If I Ever -Cafes

If I Ever open up a café...

I'm going to make it book themed.

Like not literally book themed, but that the foods and such we'd serve would be based off of foods found in books.

Because it's frankly rather annoying to read about meals in your favorite books, but not be able to eat them.
So it would be fun to take food mentioned in said books, and create a menu item based off of it, or have it.

Of course, since there are like a gazillion and a half books out there.
It would be pretty impossible to have all foods mentioned in the books.

So I'd probably have to theme my café....like Fantasy foods or something.
And then sell menu items based off of The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Wheel of Time...etc.

But I'd probably have a 'requests' section.
Where customers would be able to leave requests on what type of foods they'd want to sample in the future.

They'd have to say which book it is, what food it is, and then put down their name and number so that when/if I had the opportunity to sell that food item, I could let them know that it was now available.

I'd probably a monthly food extravaganza or something. Where I'd create menu items based off of customer suggestions, then sell them for a month.
Some items may make it onto the main menu, others may disappear back into nothing...

Still.
It's a fun idea. :)
A café where you can go and eat food from the book you're reading.
I think it would be quite immerseful. :)

Never Cold

"Renee are you crazy!!" My coworker, Mary Sue demanded rushing up to me. "You could have frozen to death! It's COLD!!" She scolded grabbing onto my hands and pulling me further inside.
I blinked, surprised at the concern. "Someone had to go out and shovel the driveway if we're to get any customers in today."
"Yes, but usually people shoveling in negative degree weather wear a Coat!" she hissed, frowning down at my hands in hers.
Oh, right. A Coat. In the moment I hadn't even thought about grabbing one. "Honestly, it wasn't that cold." I said. "You must be sensitive, your hands are colder than mine."
Her frown deepened. "How in the world is that possible? You just barely came inside!"
"Cold doesn't bother me." I said with a shrug, pulling my hands from hers. "I like winter unlike some people."
"Unlike most people." Her dark eyes met my light ones.

-Inspiration from going outside to gather carts without a coat when my coworker complained it was cold outside.

Chatterbox

I continued to smile, though if anyone had paid attention to me they would have realized that my smile no longer held the warmth it had just moments before.
Pretend. Smile. Keep the smile. I thought to myself as I once again had my words cut off by my another girl in the class.
Honestly, how hard could it be to get a simple idea across? To tell a story?
Very hard, when it comes to the other girl. Shandra Laywick. Hyper. Energetic. Bubbly. And unable to hold quiet long enough let me say more then a few words before interrupting.
At this point I doubted she actually realized that she was interrupting me. It had happened so many times before now. And not just to me, I had to concede. She did it to others as well in the classroom. Not everyone, some could hold their own against her.
I wasn't one of those.
Again, I tried to speak out, only for Shandra to burst into motion once more, repeating the exact same words I'd spoken moments before.
Did anyone else notice? Had anyone else heard me in the first place? Really, my attempts to not be a wall flower were going pretty badly here. It was so much easier to just sit back in this particular class and keep my thoughts to myself. I was wasting energy otherwise trying to get my opinions heard.

-Inspiration from personal experience

Destressed?

It's probably from my back.
It's been aching since around lunch time.
In an odd way.

Like...either my muscles randomly relaxed and aren't used to being relaxed.
Or...they just got tensor.

And there isn't really away to tell for sure which one it is.

As the unfamiliar feeling probably got me stressing over it.
Which caused other muscles to tense.
Which in turn went up to my head.

Where there's now a nice dull ache behind one of my eyes.

Oh goodie.

Impossible

"Three.
Two.
One."

Her gasp had a smile crossing my face as I braced myself briefly against the wall, fighting against the drain in energy that accompanied me anytime I performed actual magic. What could I say, I was a sucker for damsels in distress.

"But how?" She gasped out, and I could only imagine her fingering the gem she'd been trying so hard to get her hands on. Too bad for her, I'd been a step ahead the entire time. That was part of the job really. Be a step ahead or else you get caught.

I chuckled, pushing away from the wall, continuing in my other preparations. "A magician never tells their secrets, M'lady"

"You must have an accomplice on this flight." She deduced.
I hummed in response. Not giving anything away. If I had any money to afford an international flight that would have been a grand idea. But I wasn't made of money despite what everyone thought of my thieving ways.

-Inspiration from a Magic Kaito episode

Velvet

Okay, the lizard in the worker's hands didn't look so bad. I leaned forward staring at the pattern of orange and brown on it's back.
"It's pretty soft too." He said with a smile running a finger down the lizard's back. "Usually pretty mellow, they don't jump much."
Hoping my hand wasn't shaking too much, I reached out mimicking the man's gesture, and smiled. 'It's nearly like velvet." I said in surprise. The skin on the lizard was soft. I'd been expecting rough edges that would catch on my fingers. "This...wouldn't be so bad."
I smiled at the creature and leaned closer to see, picturing Mia's surprise when she would get home.

Then the creature jumped.
Literally Jumped.
At me.
I screamed, darting back as the worker deftly caught the lizard before it had gone more than a few inches but it might as well have leapt for my throat!
"It's alright, they do that, but they don't bite." He reassured with a smile.
I held a hand briefly to my pounding heart, breathing quick and shallowly. Oh no. I would not go for something that could JUMP. "How about...next." I whispered while mentally banging my head against the nearest wall. Why did Mia have to be into Reptiles of all things?! It would be so much easier to buy an animal that didn't require bugs to eat!

-Inspiration from interacting with a customer this morning at work.

Double Whammy

You know what's worse than being sick?
Being sick and WITH a headache.
That just makes for an all around miserable me for sure.

How did I get the headache?
Best guess is from trying to sleep off being sick.
Took a nap.
Probably slept a bit tense.
Woke up with the aching head.

And it's gearing up to be one of those 'miserable' night headaches as well. Guess we'll see if I actually get any sleep tonight....

-Sarnic Dirchi

Too Responsible

Breathe.
Focus.
"Hi, can I help you today?" I asked, managing to keep myself from sounding sick. Managing to smile. Hoping that my face didn't convey how feverish I felt. Only four more hours to go. Four more hours before I could head home and call it a day.
I blinked, to try and focus.
The customer needed help. I needed to help them.
Focus.
Breathe.
Walk like normal. Pretend the floor isn't tipping weird. I know the store by heart now, I can get there without having to watch my feet.
Survive.
I couldn't leave.
Not when everyone here depended on me because there was literally no one to cover for me if I too fell sick.
I was sick.
But no one needed to know that.
My hand caught onto the shelf, steadying me from almost falling.
Breathe.
Focus.
I could do this. I could...I closed my eyes my legs crumpling beneath me.

-Inspiration from working sick. -Small Cold nothing major.

If I Ever -Speed

If I Ever get into a relationship,

My boyfriend is going to have to be one of those people who drives fast.
Because it seriously gets my eyes twitching whenever I get stuck behind slow drivers.
Or get stuck in a car with people who are driving too slowly.

No.
Speed. Fast.
I need a guy to keep up with me.

Cast Away

"I can't believe you just did that."
Hannah looked over at him and grinned, as she held up the wiggling nearly a foot long, trout. "I told you not to compete against me Dave!" She said with a toss of her hair. "I'm the best around these parts."
Dave rolled his eyes. "This is your FIRST time."
"Beginner's luck is always my forte." She said with a shrug. "You know that better than anyone."
Didn't he ever. Dave thought, once more casting out his fishing line to see if he could actually catch a fish before it stole his bait. Hannah had already caught at least six fish and they'd been fishing in the exact same area, using the exact same bait! "Well...I suppose that means you aren't going to go hungry tonight."
Hannah shot him a hundred watt smile. "I won't, I may even share with you if you ask nicely."
"I'll save that for when we actually return to camp, until then. Game on."
Hannah shook her head. "Bet I catch at least a dozen before you catch one."
"Beginner's luck has to end at some point, Han."
"You keep telling yourself that Dave." She said threading another worm on the hook and casting it out. "Just watch. You won't pull up a single fish now."

-Inspiration from....out of the blue really.

If I Ever -Sponsor

If I Ever become Immortal

One of my goals would be to help fund some sort of artistic group.
Something that will become famous at some point.

Right now, I'm thinking of a group similar to BYU Vocal Point.
Where the members are constantly changing since you can only be a member if you go to BYU.
It would be fun to sponsor such a group.
And just watch how it evolves through the years.

Plus it would be fun to become a legend in their eyes.
As an Immortal I wouldn't age....
So I would always look the same as they grow older...

But yah.
It would be fun just to be that 'secret' the group has.
That the sponsor has remained the same through years.

If I Ever become Immortal I'm totally doing this. :)

Play Date

The door slammed open, banging against the wall as the police force moved in. "HANDS UP!" they yelled as an older woman with grey hair turned, eyes widening in surprise before breaking into a smile. "Oh, are you Jer-Bear's friends?" she asked with laughter. "Don't you all look so cute. Have you been playing in the back all day?"
The officers looked to each other in confusion. Playing? She hardly seemed frightened of all the uniformed officers.
"That's right mamma" A tired voice said from the side door. The thief leaned against it, a hand against his side where a red stain was visible. "We were playing cops and robbers." He smirked to the officers briefly moving his hands in a 'stand down' gesture, before he moved to his mother. "But we got hungry. Is there anything to eat?"
She laughed, kissing his cheek. "Of course Jer-Bear, I just finished making these sandwiches."
"You're an angel like always mamma. Thanks." He said with a smile, leading her to the living room to sit. "We'll eat in the kitchen, why don't you get to your favorite show, it should be on soon right?"
She gasped, hands going to her mouth. "Oh you're right! I can't believe I almost missed it." She sat down willingly enough eyes already glued to the TV as he turned on the DVR.
A glance to his mom, the thief returned to the kitchen, his smile fading as his hand once again went to his injured side. "Mind if we take this outside guys?" He asked, grabbing a sandwich off the counter and biting into it. "I'd rather not mess up the kitchen."
His main rival stepped forward with a frown. "Is...your mom alright?" He asked.
The thief shook his head. "She's as fine as she can be." He said simply. He grinned though there was no happiness to it. "She'll always think I'm nine no matter how old I get." He jerked his head to the door. "Come on then, let's go 'play' some more."  He darted outside into the darkness.

-Inspiration from a conversation about parents getting dementia.

Open Spaces

My fingers tapped on the steering wheel as I stared at the sea of red lights in front of me.
I knew I should have known better than to attempt to drive in the middle of rush hour.
But the mood to flee where I was at had hit rather strongly.
So in the car I had jumped...
And now I sat stuck in the middle of the city.
Trapped in more ways than just in the car.
I took a slow steadying breath, trying to ignore the feeling of the towering buildings looming over me.
They weren't moving, they weren't going to fall on me, there was blue sky in the narrow strip that allowed roads to move between the masses.
I was fine.
The tapping of my fingers on the steering wheel got more frantic.
I was fine.
I would be even more fine if the cars in front of me ever decided to remember they had movement so I could get out of the tight area.
Open space.
Any open space was preferable to here.

-Inspiration from driving home in rush hour traffic.

Escape

I darted away, running as fast as my legs could carry me.
It wasn't fast enough.
From behind I was tackled, and we rolled, my assailant landing on top of me.
That didn't mean I wouldn't go without a fight though.
A bucked, struggling to break from his grip.
Only managing it when his cohorts jumped on him to hold me down.
It was enough to loosen his grip.
Enough for me to wiggle in the mass of bodies.
Enough for me to roll free, jump to my feet and disappear around the corner before they knew what happened.
That had been too close.

-Inspiration from watching an animal video lizard escaping snakes

End Times

The darkness closed within, tightness in the chest.
Watching.
Waiting.
Hoping against hope that this, this wasn't going to be the route taken.
But time passes.
And it dims, it fades, to barely a flicker.
Hope.
Hope.

Surely there still should be hope....

-Devastation from Election Results

From the Book

The book slammed shut in my face, nearly catching my nose before I pulled back. "HEY!" I cried as Megan slipped the book away from me holding it out of my reach. She danced back as I stood. "Jay get your face out of a book for once and socialize!" she called with a grin, darting into the nearby room.
The nearby noisy room. I groaned, nearly sitting back down in the chair. Honestly? Why did she have to do this to me? I had purposely avoided the party for that very reason. Socializing with rich people wasn't up my alley, no matter how many times Megan tried to push me to make friends with them. She was friend enough, I didn't need any other brats taking away my books.
Running a hand through my hair, I bit the bullet and moved to the party. I'd get the book back from Megan, and then I would find a corner and finish that chapter without her interrupting me again.

-Inspiration from reading all day.

The Fake Smile

Why could no one else see her for what she was? I wondered, my hand tightening on my pen as her cool flint eyes swung over me. How could they take her smiling face as anything more than a façade? The muscles on her face were too controlled, the smile never changing the coldness in her eyes. How could they not feel the rage boiling under that small smile? Every instinct I had was screaming at me to get out. Get out now! But I couldn't. Not if I didn't want to draw attention to myself. If she didn't notice me, I would be able to fly under the radar.
At least that's what I told myself.

-Inspiration from sitting in class.

A Spot To Eat

The banquet was well underway when I slipped into the hall, casually adjusting the black strip of cloth I was using to mimic a tie. I hadn't ever owned a tie, but with the dim lights, the bare suggested shape should keep me from standing out. Black shirt, black pants, black fake tie. So what if they were a little worn, in the darkness, people wouldn't notice.
And that's exactly what I was counting on.
With the lights dim, the audience's attention on the speaker up front, I could quietly slip over to the banquet table where the food was piled high and grab myself a plate.
I moved quickly. As much as I wanted to stuff the whole table into Santa's Sack, I would restrain myself. One plate. One delicious plate of food that wasn't rotten and I would be out.
Keeping my head down, I finished in under a minute and turned snaking my way to the door. A table for one would do just fine whether it was here or up on the roof. Frankly though I preferred the roof.

-Inspiration from random musings

The Z's

Honestly,
I think its because I overslept.
I mean I'd already woken up once this morning without any issues.
But when I woke up for a second time.
BAM headache.
So I either slept too much, woke up at the wrong moment, or was more tense during that second phase of sleeping.

Because it ached for sure.
Thankfully some meds, a heat pack, and a distraction quickly solved the problem. :)

Night Vision

"What are you doing?"
I looked over and shrugged as I pulled the knife out of the peanut butter jar spreading the mound I'd gotten out liberally on a piece of bread. "Making myself a snack, why?"
"How can you even do that?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned screwing the lid back on and placing the peanut butter back in the cupboard easily returning to my sandwich.
"It's pitch black. How can you see?"
I paused mid bite, retracting my mouth so I could speak without food getting in the way. "...you can't? It's not that dark." Sure the lights were off, but there was still plenty to see. I could see the speaker frowning after all. See that they were about to bump into a chair. Why couldn't they?
"Yes it is. And here I hear you making yourself what?"
I swallowed the PB&J in my mouth. "A sandwich."
"In the dark."
"Yah."
'With a knife"
"Yah."
"Do I even want to know the state of the counters?"
I shook my head, "They're spotless."
"I can't believe you did all that in the DARK without making a mess."
"Fine, don't believe me." I shrugged moving around them. "Anyways...goodnight."

-Inspiration from getting myself dinner without turning on the lights.

Too Much Reading

I suppose when you don't take a nap and stare at the bright screen of a computer on end reading small writing of a story that has you on the edge of your seat....
Your muscles get tense.
And more tense.
Even though you try to relax them.
But then the ache forms behind your eye.
Telling you to stop.
Yet you can't stop reading.
Because you have to find out what happens next.
Even as the ache grows worse.
And it starts to make you feel unwell.

yah....I need to stop doing this to myself.
Bad me.

Tensed Writing

Sometimes I think thinking too much is what causes it.
Like sitting down and writing and trying to figure out a good way to put what I'm thinking into words just tenses my muscles up to the point where I get a headache behind my eyes.
Which probably means I need to write/think in a more relaxed fashion.
But when the idea I'm trying to write down is exciting and adrenaline inducing, it's kinda hard to avoid having my muscles tense up in anticipation.

Still, it's worth a shot to try it out.
Since I plan to be writing a lot more in the future.....