A New Year

I stepped out onto the balcony, letting the cool air flow all around me as I leaned on the railing, listening to the chanting start up behind me. "Ten! Nine! Eight!"
I smile, looking out to the city below. It had been a good year. I could only hope that next year would be just as grand.
"Three. Two." One."
"Happy New Year." I whisper. 

-Inspiration from it being New Years Eve

The Paper

I gripped the small paper in my fist, hiding it from view. "Thanks." I say keeping a smile on my face though in reality I just wanted to dart for the nearest exit. This wasn't how it was supposed to go down, it shouldn't have gone this way. Yet here it was. And the paper was in my hands, like a ticking time bomb. And I had no idea how to properly diffuse it because I wasn't in a situation where I could. It was a trap, and one with no easy exit. How. How to escape. How to make it all good. 
I didn't know. I really didn't know. 

-Inspiration from an experience at work

Me: *is uncomfortable* Gah! I can’t write! I need to get comfortable!
Me: *is comfortable* Gah! I can’t write! *is getting sleepy from being too comfortable*

StakeOut?

I peeked out the blinds once more, frowning at the creeper van that was still parked in front of my house after a week. "What are you up to, Mr. Creeper Van?" I whispered, narrowing my eyes, trying to see if the curtains in the windows had twitched or not. Had they? It almost seemed like they were slightly swaying, yet...I hadn't really seen movement from this creepy vehicle the other times I checked. 

Maybe it was empty.

Maybe whoever was in it wanted me to think it was empty.

But the main question was. 

Why was it parked in front of my house?!

-Inspiration from as you guessed it. A creepy van parked in front of my house. 

Edge of Hearing

I strained to hear the faint words coming through the headset. 
But for the life of me, I couldn't comprehend what my coworker was saying.
The words were like the white noise generators, a distant humming, on the edge of hearing. I knew my coworker had said something. But he was so faint. I had no idea. 
"What was that?" I asked, cautiously turning up my volume a notch to see if it helped.
It didn't.
I tried again.
No change.
"Could you put the mic closer to your mouth? I can't hear you." I tried again.
To no avail.
Still very quiet.
Still on the edge of my hearing.
I couldn't comprehend it. Why? Why out of all of us at work, was he the only one I couldn't hear. It wasn't my end. It had to be his, yet he refused to alter anything, stubbornly stating that this was how it was always done.
But if it was how it was always done...why could I not hear him today?

-Inspiration from Work 

Slight One

I have a slight headache going currently.
Probably triggered by the slightly hectic day at work, but aggravated by taking a nap and sleeping tense. 
Hopefully it won't last too long and that I'll be able to relax it away. 

A Holiday Ache

I was hoping I wouldn't end up with a headache today.
But honestly, I'm not that surprised that I did.
It seems to be a Christmas thing really....*exhales* Though I wish it wouldn't be.

Today, the faint ache started with the sudden unexpected arrival of guests that we weren't...well expecting. And suddenly being put on the spot with having to interact with someone, especially when I'm not prepared mentally/energy wise....can mean that their energy can get to me and tense me up.

The faint ache was antagonized further with just wearing new things. Unfamiliar weights can cause the muscles to tense up and such.

Unfortunately a nap and meds haven't seemed to help it go away yet...
But I'm hoping a night of sleep will.
*fingers crossed*
 

WhiteOut

My hands went white on the steering wheel, my breath coming shallowly as I edged on the gas a little bit, trying to keep the red tail lights in front of me in sight. 
"Come on. Come on." I whispered, not wanting to be left alone in this snowstorm to try and navigate the snow covered roads. The snow was falling so quickly that the tire tracks were disappearing nearly as fast as they were being made. Hence why I wanted to get closer to the taillights in front of me. But if anything. They only seemed to be getting further, and I did not dare faster. Not with my lack of four wheel drive. "Please." I whisper. "Just let me get home safely." 

-Inspiration from driving home in a snowstorm.

Alone

She didn't know why she had bothered in the first place. It happened so often to her now...She should have just, stopped trying. Carrie slowly munched on a cracker, as she sat alone at the table, staring at the mound of food she'd bought for her Christmas party. A Christmas party where no one had shown up. She slumped further in her chair. Pointless. It was always pointless. But she'd hoped at least one other would show up. Usually someone did. But this year? Not a soul. No one cared for her. No one wanted her presents, no one wanted her food. No one wanted...to be around her. She pushed away from the table, moving to the presents wrapped under the tree. "Merry Christmas to me." She whispered, kneeling down to grab the first present. There was no point in letting it all go to waste, even if she had to celebrate alone. 

-Inspiration from missing friends. 

Curled Up

I shivered in the tiny hollow I'd found between two columns of a building. I was wearing all the clothes I owned, had my only blanket wrapped as tightly around me as possible, and it still felt like I was standing stark naked in the middle of a blizzard. Stupid wind. It had to make everything freezing cold. I slid down, crouching in a ball, my head resting on my knees, hoping that at least I would be able to find a measure of warmth this way. Less of me exposed to the wind, the less cold I'd be right? ...Hopefully that was right. I was shivering hard enough that I could barely think straight. But what other option did I have? This was the only shelter I'd been able to find before the storm hit. All I could do is wait it out. Wait it out and hope I survived it. 

-Inspiration from the heater going out. 

To Sing

I shrugged off my coat, my breath misting in the frozen air as I handed the coat over to the shivering performer. "Here."
His voice trailed off mid song. "Huh?" 
"You're cold." I stated bluntly. "Put this on and it will help your voice." I had no idea if that was actually true, but at least with a bit of extra padding on the man's thin frame, perhaps the song wouldn't waver so. 
He blinked, hesitantly taking it. "Thank you?" 
I shrugged. "Welcome." I mumbled. I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "There's a little café two blocks down that's singer is sick tonight. If you want somewhere warm to sing, go in and ask for Teddy, he'll give you a chance."
The man's eyes widened and a smile broke out on his face. "That...thanks."
Again I shrugged. "Think nothing of it." I turned away. No reason for there to be two individuals shivering in the cold now was there? 

-Inspiration from random musings

Peaceful

The snow had begun to accumulate on top of my head, as I leaned out on the balcony, watching the flakes fall. I should have probably gone in ages ago. Yet, out here. Surrounded by white fluffy flakes that muffled noise to the point where I could barely hear the sirens in the distance, I felt...peace. I didn't want to leave it. Didn't want to go back inside, back into the warmth, but also into the high tension that had permeated into the walls of my home. At least, out here, I could pretend all was well, that all was bright. If...cold. Yet right now, Cold was perferable, because out here, I felt peace.

-Inspiration from it snowing outside

A Sudden Apperance from Self Pressure

At this point I'm wondering if I'm going to end up with a headache everyday because it sure feels like it. >.< *Exhales* 
Though surprisingly this particular one didn't show up until like a couple of hours ago.
So I can only guess that it's from my growing irritation that I basically spent all day on my computer with the intention to write and work on my fics...only to not do that. At all. Because I couldn't convince myself to write the words. I couldn't focus on a story to work on because I had too many to choose from. *exhales* The problems of self pressure I suppose.
*shakes head* It may also be from the tense atmosphere I'm in currently as one of my roomies is stressing over a laptop issue that she's experiencing and I'm probably sensing the chaotic energy involving that as well. *exhales*
Hopefully some meds and sleep will help it go away. Because I really don't want to wake up with a headache in the morning. 
*fingers crossed* 

Slightly There

I had a slight headache this morning at work.
Possibly from dealing with a coworker who's energy is sometimes...a bit much to handle.
But also because those headsets we have to wear to communicate can be rather antagonizing to my ear.
Thankfully, with a bit of distraction with work and such the headache went away. 
Woot!

slight headache makes it hard to think and post and....yah....these things need to go away.

CameraWork

I worked to keep the smile on my face as I held up the camera to take yet another photo the family had requested. It had to be like the tenth, and the line behind them was only growing longer as they requested time and time again for a do over. I could understand why they wanted to have the perfect family photo. But honestly...they should be satisfied with what I'd taken already. It wasn't like I could tell them no though, not when it was free, not when they'd asked and had been told that they could do more than one. So I kept the smile on my face with effort as I called out to them. "One, Two, Three. Cheese!" 

-Inspiration from taking pictures at work

Going

It was a matter of changing the environment. Getting the words that have been running around in my head for days out on paper. It was a matter of sitting differently, of relaxing, of being able to just...people watch.

It helped so much. To get out. To get away. 
As my muscles were tense this morning.
A faint headache threatened to become worse.
As I had once again somehow slept wrong. 
Yet being out and about. Moving. Acting...

It helped. 

Relax First

It was probably from trying to sleep when I was still tense from work. 
Sometimes taking a nap can help.
But if there's been too much on my mind, especially work related experiences, like dealing with difficult customers right before I'm off...
Then I tend to tense up while I'm sleeping.
And tensed up muscles leads to a slight headache when I wake up from dreams of trying to solve problems at work. *exhales* 
Thankfully some meds seems to have helped it so far.
We'll see if it sticks around or not though. 

Painful Wakeup

I had a headache when I woke up this morning.
I don't know why. 
I was comfortable.
Relaxed.
So it was either because I woke up too abruptly or I didn't get enough sleep and woke up at the wrong moment.

In any case
The headache didn't leave right away.
*exhales*
But thankfully it did fade when I took some Excedrin. 
Thankfully I didn't have to work my entire shift with an aching head.
Because that would not have been fun at all. 
*shakes head* 

Behind the Eyes

I ended up with a faint headache today.
I think it was mostly from being tired.
And probably from not eating enough food as once I sat down and actually ate something more substantial the headache disappeared a bit faster. 
It could also be a headache caused from stress because I had to leave my department in the hands of a complete greenie who has almost nil experience in dealing with my department sooo...
Yah.
Stress. Not enough food, not enough sleep.

At least I've remedied the food part.
Hopefully I can remedy the other two soon. 

Freedom

I straightened, my hand reaching back to feel my shoulder blades. "It's...gone." I whispered, my vision blurring. The weight that had been dragging me down...was gone. I felt...I felt as light as a feather, like if I wasn't careful I would float right into the sky. "It's....gone." I repeated, hugging myself, grinning. "It's gone!!" 

-Inspiration from not having a headache today.

Another One

Soo...while the headache I had the past couple of days was gone this morning....
*exhales*
Another one appeared this afternoon.

Was it tension? Probably.
Sensitivity to noise and light? Very likely.
Probably an 'after shock headache' from major one the past couple of days? Yah...that's my guess.

I mean there was a faint twinge towards midday.
Which probably could have been helped if I'd taken a real nap.
But I didn't.
And then the faint twinge was irritated with a car alarm that wouldn't stop.
With tension of being around people.
With an unfamiliar place.
Possibly with too sweet of a drink.
Honestly at this point who knows what all is contributing to my headache, what all will make it go away. 
*exhales*

Seriously...headache just needs to be good and go away.

Still Present but Fading

I have no idea what caused this major mind melt to happen. Like the headache was nuclear but not a big nuclear meltdown.
It was bad enough that the thing persisted for the entire day today (even after sleeping far more than I usually do) and refused to leave even while I was at work. *Exhales*

Thankfully, as I returned home from work today it did manage to go away.

But I'm still at a loss as to why it started....too much multitasking? Delayed stress reaction? Too much sleep? Too little sleep? Stressing abut writing? I do not know.
But it was one of those stubborn things that wouldn't go away no matter what I tried.
And I tried everything.

So it was really a matter of waiting it out.
And hoping that it doesn't come back tomorrow. 

Ended up with a nuclear headache. It's making thinking difficult and staring at the screen isn't a good idea.

Baby Headache

Slight headache today.
But I think it's just from being tired, slightly stressing, and just not resting enough.
We'll see.

Thankfully it's a baby one so hopefully it won't become anything major.

Leaving?

I ended up with a small headache after work today.
It came on as I was leaving the building.

So it's causation probably had something to do with finally having myself settle long enough to realize I should have been stressed.
*shakes head*
Who knows for sure though.....
Thankfully a bit of Excedrin has made it go away. 
So woot. 

No long term headache tonight. 

No.

I stared at the text in dismay. All my plans falling into dust as I read the words on the screen. You need to come in.  
But I didn't want to.
I wanted to relax.
To get a break from work.
To get away from my coworkers.
But due to being on call...I couldn't. I had to come in if needed. Plans or no plans. 
"I don't like you." I muttered, tossing my phone back onto my bed, before flopping face down into my pillow. Why? Why did they always need me? Couldn't they have asked someone else? But I knew, right now, there was no one else. 

-Inspiration from a conversation

Brain: ........
Me: So you know that writing thing?
Brain: ........
Me: We kinda should be doing that.....
Brain: .......
Me: Seriously! We should be writing!
Brain: ........
Me: *throws up hands* FINE! We won't write today. 
Brain: .......

Me: Okay, let’s write this one story idea—
Brain: HERE’S SEVEN MORE STORY IDEAS!!
Me: Oh, uhmm that’s nice but I want to write this one–
Brain: Did you say you wanted another one? Here’s TWO for good measure!
Me: But!
Brain: *pours out more ideas* 
Me: HEY!!!
Brain: Look at all the story ideas!! Aren’t they all amazing!
Me: *helpless under a pile of story ideas* BUT I CAN’T WRITE THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! AGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Which Brother?

He gave me a look of disbelief. "I only have one brother."
Which was all well and good, but I had no idea who this person was or which brother he was referring to. "Cool, what's his name?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as he scoffed again. This guy obviously was full of himself if he continued to think I could read his mind and automatically know everyone's relation to each other.
He rolled his eyes. "It's Jeff." 
"Oh!" I smiled. Now I knew who he was referring to. "Mary and Phil's friend." 
He blinked. "Who?" 
Ah. Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. And he got annoyed at me because I didn't know who his brother was at first mention? How could he not know Jeff's friends? The ones he crashed on their couch for four months. "You know. Mary was my roommate and she worked with Jeff at the Hardware store."
"Oh." 
I could tell he didn't know who Mary was at all.
I silently sighed. 

-Inspiration from a work conversation

Brain: So we could do plot A where this and that happens.
Me: Okay yah we coul---
Brain: OR we could do plot B where this and that happens instead. 
Me: Oh, that's a good idea as well!
Brain: OR WE COULD DO BOTH TOGETHER!
Me: O.o umm...is that even possible? They're kinda diff--
Brain: BOTH PLOTS!!!
Me :*face palm* 

Soup

The clunk of something on the table jerked me out of the half-stupor I'd found myself in. "Huh?" I brilliantly managed.
Soup." Megan, of all people, said. She gestured to the small container on the table. "Feel better." she added with a small smile before disappearing from the breakroom as silently as she'd come.
I stared after her in surprise. That wasn't....Megan didn't ever interact with anyone without them talking to her first.
So why....
I shrugged as the scent of chicken noodle hit my nose. Ah. I reached out eagerly desperate for something to warm my sore throat. This would definitely do the trick.
I closed my eyes with satisfaction as I swallowed the first spoonful of hot liquid. Oh yes. I would have to thank Megan profusely next time I saw her. This...this was a life saver. 

-Inspiration from grabbing soup for a sick coworker. 

Me: So we posted the story. We should probably go to bed.

Brain: NO! WE POSTED THE STORY WE NEED TO WAIT FOR FEEDBACK!!

Me: But...work....

*first comment comes in* 

Me: ()_() NEVER MIND LETS STAY UP AND WAIT FOR FEEDBACK!!!

Brain: What if....we wrote a story that was a cross between two Christmas stories?!?! 
Me: *glancing at other writing projects* Uh....
Brain: Come on! It will be fun!!! Let's do it! Christmas! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!!!!

The Shriek

It was the high pitched shriek of an upset child that started it. 
The sound reached a decibel level that caused me to wince, to flinch away.
And as it repeated itself. Again and again.
The ache behind my eye grew. 

>.<
I probably could have gotten away with not getting a headache today.
Seriously I could have.
But for whatever reason, that child in the store today at work...just had the right tone and volume to put me on edge and cause me to get the headache that I'm now struggling with.
It didn't help that there was also a customer that let his two little tiny dogs bark their heads off like crazy for a good 15 minutes.
It didn't help that I had to play jigsaw with juggling cages today at work, which is always a mental strain.
It didn't help that I was tired and that my right arm decided to randomly start aching like mad even though I did nothing to it to cause it such pain. 

No. A lot of things didn't help me out today in avoiding this headache. 
*exhales*

Still Present

Whelp....
Headache is still here.
I mean, it disappeared for a bit during the night.
But the annoying thing came back early this morning.
*Exhales* 
Looks like I'm going to be stuck with it for a bit. 
Though maybe more heatpacks and more meds will help it go away.
Maybe.
Just maybe. 

All the Stress

I ended up with one of those nuclear headaches today.
It started right before work.
And refused to leave.

Why did it start?
No idea.
Was it just leftover stress from dealing with all the customers yesterday for Black Friday?
Was it staying up late writing?
Was it stress from finally beginning to post a little fic I've been working on and the consequential worry from how it will be received by the readers?
Was it from eating two croissants for breakfast today when I haven't had them in a couple of months?

Who knows.
I really don't.
Maybe it's a combination of everything above.
But in either case.
It's wiped me out.
It's left me feeling awful.
And I just want it to go away. 

Alone at Last

I locked the doors, nearly catching the heels of the last customer as they left the store. It took everything I had to not slump against said doors.
Finally. Finally I was free of the chaos that had been Black Friday. 
Honestly, if I never saw another cart or another price tag or another Customer for the rest of the year....I would be totally content. 
I knew that wouldn't be the case. After all, this was retail, and we were open again tomorrow.
But at least for now, I was free. Free of the bickering of the whining, of the screaming. Free of having to run all around the store to ensure that when we said we were out of an item, we actually were out of the item. 
Really, all I wanted to do right now was curl up on the breakroom couch and sleep.
But I couldn't. I still needed to recover the store from the tornado of customers that had visited us today.
But at least....this Black Friday was finally over. That I could at least be grateful for. 

-Inspiration from working Black Friday

A First Time

He'd always been curious as to what Thanksgiving was like. 
If it was as warm and cheery as the movies made it out to be.
Was the Turkey really so large?
Was there really so much food that there were actually leftovers?
Did everyone actually smile and have a good time?
Cautiously he peered around the corner, into the kitchen. Little fingers gripping the wood as his stomach growled. He swallowed, trying to keep himself from drooling at all the food he could see laid out before him.
His first Thanksgiving with a real family. His first time being included in a group. He pulled back slowly, hugging himself as he leaned against the wall. He shivered with anticipation. Food. Family. Love. Everything he craved. And now everything he had. He couldn't wait. Couldn't wait to partake in this tradition. He smiled. For once. Everything was going his way. 

-Inspiration from the Holiday

Time To Eat

"Guys. Guys I'm fine!" I complained as my coworkers basically frog marched me into the breakroom.
"You are not fine." David said flatly, sitting me down on a chair. "You nearly collapsed in front of a customer! She said that you went white as a sheet and your eyes rolled back like a demon possessed." 
I flushed, looking down at my hands. "I'm fine." I repeated. "It was just a momentary thing, I can wor--"
"When was the last time you ate, Carrie?" 
I shrugged. "I'm not hungry." I mumbled. It had been too long. A couple of days maybe? 
"That's not an answer."
"I ate this morning." 
"What did you eat?"
"Uhmmm....bread?" I winced as my tone came out questioning. 
I looked up in time to see David exchanging looks with Mark. 
"Guys...I'm fine." 
They turned the same disbelieving stare at me at the same moment. "No you're not." Mark said, folding his arms. "Carrie, you're going to sit there until we get you something to eat, alright? You need your strength."
"Do you like pizza?" David asked, suddenly. Pulling out his phone. "I'll order pizza. What kind do you want." 
"I don't--"
"Carrie." 
I swallowed, looking down. "Uh Pepperoni?" 
"Alright, Pepperoni it is." 

-Inspiration from getting pizza at work. -Nobody was fainting, only hungry.

So sleepy

I think I'm just tired.
Energy gone.
Feeling sleepy.
And with me stubbornly staying up.
Attempting to write....

An ache is growing behind my eyes.
*exhales*
Perhaps I should just call it now and go get that sleep so hopefully the headache doesn't get worse.
Maybe...

A Friendly Wager

"So," I said, leaning on the podium at work. "Who do you think will come in first out of our two coworkers due to replace us, Kayla, or Stephanie?"
Amy paused in her washing of the windows, looking at me thoughtfully. "What's the bet?"
I shrugged. "A candy bar?"
"Butterfinger?"
"Sure."
She smiled. "Alright....I'm going to say that Kayla shows up first."
I blinked. "Really?"
"Yah, I know that it's usually Stephanie who comes in first, but I have a really good feeling about Kayla today."
I nodded thoughtfully. "Okay then. I'll go with Stephanie." 
She smirked at me. "Deal. May the odds be in my favor."
I laughed, and shook my head. "I hope they're in my favor more." Because I really wanted that chocolate.

-Inspiration from a work event

Aftershocks

Like an aftershock from a major earthquake.
I think tonight's headache...okay I know tonight's headache is just the after effects of being stressed out about speaking earlier today.
And with the fact that the talk I had to give is now over.
That I can now relax again.
However, that doesn't mean it's easy for my brain to do the same.
Thinking, wondering if it could have gone better.
Worrying about what I said to others afterwards.
And just being...tense in general because having to present yourself in front of a group of people is always rather stressful to me.
The fact that I ended up with a slight headache tonight was not at all surprising. I was expecting it. Because honestly. 
It was a stressful day lol. 

It's Coming

It's creeping up. 
I can feel it.
Starting in the shoulders.
Moving up to the neck.
Heading to my eye.

It's coming.
Because a stressful situation is coming.
One I don't quite know how to face.
One with unknowns that make it hard to know how to accomplish it well.
A situation that I've known about for most of the week.
And has been hanging out in the back of my mind since I found out about it.
A situation that only stresses me out further as it draws closer.

So a headache?
Yah. Totally not surprised to still have one this morning.
Because life has its stressful moments.
And this is one of those moments. 

Tired Eyes

Yah I did this to myself.
Hunched over. Staring at a bright screen.
Typing like crazy.
Forgetting to eat and drink regularly.
Not moving around a lot?

Yah.
A faint ache behind the eyes is totally expected.
*exhales*
Maybe in time, just maybe in time.
If I do this enough, the body will get used to it, and I won't end up with a headache any time I spend the day writing....
Just maybe.

A Tip

I turned away, glad that I was finally done carrying out the customer's rather large order. I hadn't minded the manual labor, it had been a relief to break away from the boredom of just standing there in the store with nothing to do. The breath of fresh air, the sun on my face, that too was worth the effort of spending a good half hour helping the rather elderly customer get everything into their car.
"Wait. Wait!" I heard the customer call behind me.
I turned, in time to get a fistful of cash shoved into my hand. 
"Here."
I blinked at it in surprise. "That's not necessary," I said with surprise. My job didn't do tips. I wasn't supposed to accept tips. 
"I insist. I feel bad making you carry everything out by yourself."
"Really, it's no--" I tried to hand back the wad of money.
But the customer shook their head. "Take it. I insist. As thanks."
"Well...Okay. Thank you." I said sincerely. It really was the nicest thing I could have experienced today. 

-Inspiration from encounter at work

Customer Service Woes

I'm pretty sure that any shift I work that doesn't get me out of the store before 3pm....
Is bad for me.

Like seriously.
I can't deal with people for multiple hours in a day.

and the morning shift I worked today. Which was basically 8 hours of customer service...because I came into the store right before we opened....

Is horrible.
I get exhausted.
I get an ache behind my eyes.
because I'm exhausted.
I can't people like this.
I can't customer service like this.

*exhales*
Thankfully the faint ache behind my eyes will probably go away....if I ever decide to go to bed....

The Focus

I have a slight headache tonight.
But it's kind of my own fault in that.

Mostly because I've been writing.
And writing tends to tense me up. 
Because I get super focused on getting the words right, the sentence right, the feel of the story right. And with the intense concentration...comes a slight ache behind my eyes.
It doesn't help that I was also writing an emotional scene.
That literally had tears streaming down my cheeks because ahhh it's sad!!!
So yah...
This slight headache is my own fault.
But hopefully some sleep will help it go away. 

Too Much Thinking

More than likely it's the minimum sleep I got last night that's the main cause of my current headache.
Why did I not get enough sleep?
Simple.
I was writing. 
Got excited.
Brain was firing off ideas nonstop.
And so when I tried to go to bed....
My mind didn't want to.
And therefore I laid there mind racing for hours on end.

Only to have to get up and work and work early in the morning. 
*exhales*

Still...the headache only appeared towards the end of the work day.
When my ability to stay wakeful faded with my energy. 
A nap didn't help.
Meds and heat aren't helping.
I can only hope an actual night of sleep will help this headache go away. 

Too Much Fun

I woke up this morning with a major headache.
Which while unwelcome, wasn't much of a surprise.

Usually when I do something the night before that's more...out of my comfort zone...I tend to tense up and end up with an aching head either later that same night or into the next day.

Being out in public, being brave and meeting people...it can be rather stressful, even though in the moment I play it off, I tend to think about my actions after it's all said and done, and then critic myself on what I could have done differently. How I could have been different.
And that can be rather stressful.
I try not to think about it, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't happen.

So more than likely, this morning's headache was from sleeping tense after an evening out and about.
Thankfully, with some liquids, meds, and distraction...it seems to have gone away. Yay. :)

A Moment To Enjoy

I stood against the wall, watching the others, a small smile on my face as I quietly enjoyed watching the others excitement at meeting their idols. It was a small thing really. Just to see the happiness on another's face. A moment where I could vicariously live through watching them. A moment where I could forget my own worries and fears and just focus. Focus on them, and their happiness. It was well worth the aching feet, the tired muscles to just see these brief glimpses into a better life. A life that I wasn't sure that I coul--
"Hey Nikayla!" one of the guys called out, drawing me from my revere. "Wanna come take a picture with us?" 
I blinked, surprised at the sudden offer, surprised that one of the guys still remembered my name even after all the people they had met. I smiled shyly and shook my head. The spotlight wasn't for me. I was one for the shadows. 

-Inspiration from going to a Vocal Point Concert

Me: So I have this idea.
Brain: It needs a sequel.
Me: But....can't we just keep it as a single ide--
Brain: AND A PREQUEL TOO!! 
Me: But!
Brain: You know what. It should be a whole series! Yah...yah that would be great!

Done With Today

Can one get a headache from boredom?
Sometimes I wonder. 

Though really, I probably got the headache because I was hungry and I was tired, and I was annoyed with customers and coworkers today.
So...it basically boils down to tension.
And being done with having responsibilities for a bit.
*exhales* 

Thankfully some rest, food, and some time away from people seems to have helped it go away. Yay! 

Tick Tock

I couldn't stop glancing at the clock as I leaned against the door frame. 
I was supposed to be off six minutes ago. I should have been heading home.
Yet, here I was, standing in the doorway of the manager's office.
Because the manager wanted to talk to me. 
Only he was in the middle of talking to another coworker, and it hardly seemed like they would be ending their conversation any time soon.
Again, I glanced to the clock.
How long before I would be seen?
Because I really really just wanted to head home.

-Inspiration from work.

Why Here?

I got a headache at work.
I don't even know why I got a headache at work.
It wasn't like work was stressful in a non normal stressful way.
It was all fine and dandy there.

Yet, I found myself with that annoying ache behind my left eye.
An ache that would not leave. No matter the meds I took.
It would fade a little bit after some TLC with a heatpack during my breaks.
Only to come roaring back soon after.

Why, dear headache, why did you come?
Is it just a subconscious tension that built somewhere? An annoyance that's irritating me that I can't pinpoint?

Who knows.
I just know it was difficult to focus through work today.
And I'm glad it went away after more TLC with a heat pack and resting my eyes for a bit. 

Brain: IDEA!
Me: We gotta finish this thing first.
Brain: But. IDEA!!
Me: I know it's cooll but---
Brain: IDEA!!!
Me: If you keep distracting me we won't get this done and we won't be able to reach the idea.
Brain: ....okay........*whispers* idea.

Skipping Is Not Good

I think I may have to officially call it that Fast Sundays are not good for me.
At least where preventing headaches is concerned. 
Because I feel like I get a headache every Fast Sunday no matter what.

Which...I'm pretty confident that it's not the lack of food that is the main concern,
but the fact that I end up being stressed out nearly every Fast Sunday and that in of itself causes me to get a headache?
Because stress is definitely a main factor.

Today?
Probably dealing with people that have caused me to be tense has been the main thing, plus the annoyance at being interrupted when I'm trying to do something else also has been something to tense me up. 

Probably the sudden switch in Daylight Savings is also affecting me as well....
*Shakes head*

Who knows.
All I know is I have a headache today and I just want it to go away. 

Go Ahead, Don't Listen

I paste a smile on my face, nodding politely as the man before me continued to talk, proving that he had, indeed not been listening to a word I'd said before he decided to open his mouth to 'correct' me. Unfortunately, he was correcting me with all the wrong information. Things he'd found on google, info that others had told him that contradicted what I said. It was, I decided, his aim only to prove himself right, and I was willing to help him...put his foot into his mouth. If he wasn't going to listen to me, who had worked here far longer than anyone else in the store, then fine. He could learn the hard way that the internet isn't always correct, nor that he should think that because I was younger than him, that I was more naïve. He could dig his own grave, I'd already tried to prevent him from doing so once. I wasn't about to try again. 

-Inspiration from encounters at work and social media

Aching Cheek

I sit back with a grimace, massaging my cheek. Why did it have to hurt so bad after the numbing agent wore off?
Had it meant that I'd bit my cheek one time too many?
Had the needle been jabbed too forcefully through my skin to ensure that I couldn't feel further?
Regardless, it hurt now. Enough I didn't want to open my jaw.
But open my jaw I did.
Because I needed to present, I needed to speak. 
Dropping my hand I took a steadying breath, and moved forward. 

-Inspiration from going to the Dentist today

Wrongful Energy

It started when my manager unexpectedly tried to hand me a duty that I did not want to take because I didn't want to have that responsibility on my head, especially just thrown at me out of the blue. 
Especially when it's a 'new' thing the store is having us do, and therefore we don't have any idea what we're doing.
Definitely not something I want to face first thing in the morning.
As it tensed me up, gave me a slight ache behind the eye.

Which unfortunately was exacerbated by having a group of individual come into the store, a sort of field trip group, that just....had an energy about them that I did not like.
It was kinda like nails on a chalkboard, and it just...made my headache grow worse.

Thankfully...
Avoiding being put on the duty that I didn't want to be put on, distancing myself from the group of people, and taking some meds...

Helped to put my headache to bed.
Yay for a quick solution this time around.

Origins: Cue Annoyance

I giggle to myself as I watched the woman again swat at her arm, frowning down when she again found nothing. Nothing, because I could make it nothing. 
Again I peer around the corner, and with a small flick, again make it feel like there's a single hair brushing the woman's arm.
Again she reacts, wildly looking all over her shirt for that stray hair she's never going to find. Not if I have anything to say about it.

A Night of Terror

Grinning like jack-o-lanterns they approach hands out stretched. "Trick or Treat" they crow in unison as I frantically reach behind me for a bowl that's nearly empty. I don't know if I have enough. I don't know if I have enough! 
"Trick or Treat!" They crow again, eyes widening with displeasure as I'm slow to give them the offering they crave.
"Here. Here." I frantically say holding out the bowl. 
Like a flock of hungry birds they descended, picking at the bowl searching for their favorites. "Happy Halloween!" They cry, once satisfied this house provided satisfactory offerings for them.
I close the door, locking it tight, closing my eyes, bowl held in my lap. "Please no more." I whisper. I couldn't handle any more.
Of course...the doorbell had to choose just then to read. 

-Inspiration from handing out candy to the trick or treaters tonight.

Closing the Eye

Ended up with a headache this morning pretty soon after waking up.
Not quite sure why....was it an irritation from my contact? Did I not sleep the right amount of time? Was there something stressful in the store that was just getting on my nerves?

It's hard to know for sure.
Though I think my eye was just feeling strain for whatever reason.
As when I finally was able to lay down and close that eye and put a heat pack on it...
The headache faded away...
After meds were doing nothing for it.

Ah the glorious power of heat.

To Safety

I pulled my sister down, ducking both of us behind our car as more gunshots rang out.
"What do we do? What do we do?" My sister breathed, gripping my wrist so tight it would probably bruise. 
"I don't know." I whisper, my eyes darting around. "We need to get into better cover."
But how could we get to better cover if we didn't know where the bullets were coming from?
I tensed, head on a swivel. Any moment could be our last. I didn't know where was safe. Where we could go. But whatever we did. We'd need to do it soon. Do it so both of us could make it out alive.

-Inspiration from a dream...nightmare?

Brain: So tired.
Me: You do this every Saturday Night.
Brain: Well...I am tired.
Me: That's why we hate working Saturdays.
Brain: Agreed. Soo tired. Can't think no more.

A Survey

It was interesting today that I received an email asking me to take a survey about how often I get migraines/headaches and what symptoms I experience and such.
Which was a bit...interesting...because I was asked how many headaches I've had in the last 3 months...
And when I came back to this blog to check how many Mind Melt Posts I'd done....
I ended up with the number of 30. 

Which...basically boils down to like one every three days. :S 
Geez.
I get these things a lot. *exhales* 

But I feel like I usually don't....was it just a bad time of year for me? Who knows....

But what is interesting....
Is that I actually hadn't had a headache for the past week or so...
Only for me to end up with one tonight. 

Like...did I get the headache because my mind had been on headaches due to the survey?
Did I get it because I actually took a 2 hour nap today and ended up sleeping too long?
Did I get it because I ventured out to be social when I wasn't planning on it and that just tensed me out?
Am I just annoyed with myself for not writing things I want to write for the past week and that mental tension has finally built up to giving myself a headache?

No idea.
Still interesting I got a headache today though after that headache survey though....

Reconnecting

My smile froze on my face when I turned to face the visitor on my doorstep. I stared dumbfounded at the young man standing before me. 
He stood there awkwardly, shuffling his feet on the porch, holding a small box in his hands. "Hey, Sis." He mumbled. 
"Matthew?" I breathed, not believing my eyes. I hadn't seen my brother in three years. Not since he cut ties with us. Dropped off the radar, wouldn't respond to texts, to emails, to Facebook. "What...are you doing here?" How had he even known where to find me? I'd moved multiple times since we'd last saw each other. 
"Just...mmm...I wanted to say hi." He said looking up. "Wish...wish you happy birthday." He said holding out the small box. 
I hesitated a half second before smiling, taking the box. "Did you want to come in for dinner?" I asked, stepping back and holding the door wider. He'd made an effort to reconnect, I could reach out as well. 
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yah...I'd like that." 

-Inspiration from a conversation

If I Ever -National Parks

If I Ever work for the National Parks...specifically Arches National Park.

I'm totally going to find out every little secret that that park holds. 
Find every arch.
Be the one to volunteer to venture out into the wilderness to check in on arches that aren't on the main trails. 

It's not like I can't do that now...
But if I worked for the NPs then I could 'offically' do so. lol 

Me: Writing writing writing!
Brain: I think we're forgetting something....
Me: What could we be forgetting?! We're actually finally writing!!
Brain: Well...it had something to do with writing...
Me: O.o 
Brain: o.O 
Both: BLOGGGING!!! 

Restless Night

I'd thought I had had the headache handled yesterday.
But I didn't.

It tenaciously stuck around the entire day while I was focused on writing.
Fading here and there,
But never entirely gone.
It would increase in strength.
I would take measures against it.
It would decrease for a lil bit....
And then return.

Which meant...
That I was more than likely in for a bad night.
A night where the Nuclear Headache strikes.
Because when these types of headaches last and last.
It usually means that sleep is not going to help at all.

Though I always hope it will. 

As I predicted.
So it happened.

The Nuclear Headache struck.

Pain. Pounding away within my head.
My body shaking.
My teeth chattering.
My heart pounding.
My lungs shuddering. 
My stomach rolling.

It was a tsunami I had to hold onto and just pray that I would survive. 
Heat wasn't helping.
Shower wasn't helping.
Meds wasn't helping.

I was too tense.
Too shaky.
But thankfully...
It too did pass. 
Leaving a bitter taste in my mouth and shaky limbs as I reminder...these things aren't friendly. 

Tensed

I woke up with a headache this morning. 
Which probably means that I slept a little tense, and considering I was dreaming that my jacket was weighing me down and I was trying to get it off of me.
It makes a little sense that my muscles would be aching from the effort.
It's possibly leftover strain from yesterday. From focusing on a chapter I was writing in my story. Because...well there was a lot of drama in that chapter. 
And I still need to work on wrapping up a few loose ends in that particular story.

So the headache?
Very unwelcome, but not a surprise.
Hopefully I can get it to go away soon.
I have things to do.

Me: Wait, didn't we have four characters in this situation?
Brain: Yah?
Me: What happened to the other two?
Brain: Uh...we left them back on page 2?
Me: But they're still in the room!
Brain: Yah?
Me: That means we have to have them doing stuff!
Brain: Oh...but we're on page 7.
Me: *tears at hair* Aggggh!! Why didn't you notice this sooner?
Brain: I was on a roll?
Me: Obviously.

Brain: You know what this story needs?
Me: More words?
Brain: THEME MUSIC! 
Me: Okay? *puts in themed playlist*
Brain: PERFECT!!

Social Obligations

Stress from the unknown is well...stressful. 
Not knowing situations is stressful.
Being put in charge of a situation that you weren't wanting to be put in charge of in the first place.
Very stressful.

So it's unsurprising that I ended up with a headache. 

Because not knowing how things are going to turn out. 
Can make me tense. 
*shakes head* 

Thankfully the social obligations I had to go participate in, turned out to not be as bad as my imagination was making it out to be. :) 

Still got that headache though. Hopefully that goes away...eventually. 

ReDecorated

I paused in the doorway, doing a double take. This...was not my house. 
I leaned back to look at the number on the side. 2303...
It was my house..
But it wasn't my house.
I frowned, stepping in side. 
"Sweetheart?" I called out as I studied the room. The furniture, the walls, even the flooring! It didn't look right. This wasn't right. Had I walked into an alternate dimension? Because this was not my home. 

-Inspiration from the breakroom being repainted/redecorated at work

Origins: Cue Silence

I leaned against the wall of my apartment, listening to the roar of the movie playing in the apartment below me. The bass of the music, shaking my wall with muted thunder. I gritted my teeth, closing my eyes. Focusing. Picturing the TV below me. I breathed in and slowly breathed out, holding my hand out and twisting it like I was twisting a dial. 
And the sound faded. To blessed quiet. I could no longer hear. 
For only a moment. I heard cries of confusion below me. 
And the volume quickly returned to normal.
I exhaled, holding my hand out again. Turning down the volume for them. If they wouldn't take the hint, I would forcefully turn off the TV for them. Not everyone in the complex wants to hear their movie. 

If I Ever -Management

If I Ever become a Manager.

I'm going to try and make sure that everyone feels worthwhile in the store. That their opinions matter, that their concerns matter, that their explanations are believed. 
Because there's nothing more frustrating than to be constantly told that things aren't improving.
Yet there seems to be no effort made to improve it.

I mean, if you're put under a timeline deadline to get things done by.
And those things are still not getting done.
That's when I'd talk to the person, try and figure out a different solution. Find a way to make everything work within the boundaries set. 

Because I'd rather work with people and keep them happy and figure out things....
Instead of haranguing them to the point of them deciding it's not worth the critiques anymore and quitting on us. 

That just leaves us in worst straights....