Ill-Dressed but Good-Hearted

I caught the door just before it would have shut, locking me out. With a gasp of relief I darted inside, right as the beginning notes of the ceremony rang out.
I took a seat, setting down my work bag. Conscious that I was ill-dressed compared to everyone else.
I hadn't had time to change, not if I wanted to make it inside.
The guys next to me shifted in their seats, trying to put as much distance between me and them as they could.
I kept my face blank, as I grabbed out the book from my bag, opening to the chant, and began singing as well.
At least I'd shown up, guys. I thought slightly irritated.
I knew that it wasn't the dress that mattered in the ceremony, even if it was frowned upon to come as I was.

Still, I couldn't help but feel that everyone was looking at me.
Judging me.

-Inspiration from roommate coming in to church late, in jeans as she'd just gotten off work and hadn't had time to change.

Need More Food

I've decided,
That I hate working after 3pm.

I can only deal with customers for so long.
And after about 3pm.
My tolerance for social interaction takes a steep dive.

It's what happened today.
Things were going fine.
But then around 3:15.
When I still had like 45 mins left of work.

My energy levels just dive bombed.

For multiple reasons.
1) Worrying for a coworker who had to attend a family member's funeral today.
2) Worrying about displeasing a manager.
3) Having to deal with a bunch of customers that were both noisy and irritating.
4) The last time I'd had something to eat was at 11:30am. And it was just a small quick snack of some crackers basically. So by this point in time I was starving. So my stomach was growling like crazy and making me feel sick.

Which basically resulted in me needing to sit down, as I just felt myself go white.
Somehow I managed to survive until I got off work.
And ran to grab something to eat.

But the tension of the day....

Resulted in a headache.

Brain: You should exercise.
Me: *trying to sleep* huh? O.o
Brain: Exercise! You know like running? You like running right??
Me: Yah... But we're trying to sleep.
Brain: That's okay! We can use imagination! *proceeds to dream about running away from things* isn't this exciting?! ...
Me: *tossing and turning* NO!!
Brain: But...*jazz hands* Exercise!!

Brain: .... And then in my seventh year I had the most traumatic---
Me: Alright! Enough. *turns on music*
Brain: *pouts*

Me: *Reads friend's biography before bed.*
Brain: You know that was really inspiring! We should write our own biography!
Me: *groans* we can't, we need to go to sleep, and we're not famous yet so its kinda pointless to write a biog--
Brain: The year was 1990. And I, I was about to arrive into the world. *continues monologing*

A Life Changing Event

I think too much.

I have a family member who's about to take a big step in life.

And what am I doing?

Worrying about it.

That it's not going to go to plan.

That something major is going to go wrong.

That someone else will ruin the moment.

It's one of those pointless things.

Where there is actually nothing I can do.

Because it's not my monumental decision.

It's my family members.

Yet. I find myself stressing about it.

Wanting it to go well for them.

And so then comes the headache....

The Mind Melt -Agreeing to Failure

I don't like it when I'm cornered into accepting challenges.

I know myself really well, so I know when I think something can be done....and when it can't.

My manager wanted the impossible from me.

And he wouldn't take an 'I'll try" for an answer.

He wanted it to be an "I will" and so hounded me until I gave him that answer.

Even though, again, his expectations were unrealistic.

What did he want from me?

He wanted me to sell one a customer a coupon book. -Ones that help new dog owners save a bit of money as they're shopping for their puppies.

Which, if I ever spent time around the dogs in the store, would be a lot easier to accomplish.

But usually I'm stuck over by the fish wall catching fish and bagging crickets.

Which is an out of the way corner where dogs don't always wander.

I focus more on the other animals. The Hamsters, Birds, Reptiles, Fish, Crickets.

And tend to leave the Dog and Cat questions to other departments.

Granted, if there's no one else I'll hop in and answer the questions.

But I'm never really in the mindset to say "Oh hey, you could use this coupon book!"

I find it difficult to try and 'upsell' people. If I think they need it, I'll bring it up.

But I don't like just bringing it up to 'make a sale' or 'get our quota' or whatever.

But that's what my manager wanted me to do.

He wanted me to sell one of these coupon books before the end of the week.

The problem?

I only had one more day in my 'week' as I have the rest of the week off for a vacation.

And I felt the expectation was unrealistic.

Because that day is also one of the busiest days in my dept. Where we have more tasks than usual, which usually keeps me pretty focused in the dept. To the point where I don't venture out.

But again, he wouldn't take "I'll try"

for an answer.

It had to be "I will."

Did I accomplish it?

No.

Because I know myself, I knew what was expected of that day, and figured there wouldn't be a ton of customers in the store.

Doesn't mean I didn't try.

But you know how many dogs I saw in that 8 hour shift?

Like 5.

And how many of those were puppies?

Two.

And how many of those had already had the coupon book spiel given to them and accepted a coupon book from a different associate.

Two.

So yah. My chances were rather limited.

Because I don't leave my dept.

My manager tried to assure me that he'd help me out in getting the sale.

By covering my dept for a bit so I could go talk to a customer about the book when the opportunity arose.

Only it never arose, he never covered (I hadn't expected him to.) As he ended up having to be out of the store most of the day.

But all the while the tension was slowly building.

As I don't like agreeing to things unless I know I can accomplish it.

And I wasn't accomplishing the goal! Which stresses me out.

As I knew it wasn't going to happen! And he was going to be disappointed in me.

And I knew at any moment he was going to ask me.

If I'd gotten my sale yet.

Which I hadn't.

Thankfully.

He was distracted enough that when I did see him -as I was clocking out-

He didn't think to bring it up.

So I didn't have to worry about telling him that I had failed.

>.< I hate failing.

That doesn't mean that the tension in my shoulders went away.

No. It stayed.

Stressing me out.

...and giving me a headache.

Brain: What are we going to do tonight Sarnic?
Me: Same thing we try every night Brain, try to sleep through the night.
Brain: .... You're sure it's not 'take over the world'?

Me: Alright! Time for bed.
Brain: Okay....but I just came up with this character's whole plot line!
Me: We don't have time for this.
Brain: I understand...but just hear me out. What if 'this' happens two years later?
Me: *suddenly wide awake* Go On..... ...

Brain: You know what? There are so many fast food places in the world...you'd think someone would get super powers from some sort of accident there.
Me: Huh you're right....
Brain: Yah! So what sort of super powers should those people get? Like there's the 'grease' and the 'meat' and such....maybe 'heat?' ooo what if something happened with the register?
Me: ....I really shouldn't have agreed with you.
Brain: You're totally fine, come on. Fast food. What powers can come from fast food?

Me: Okay brain time for bed!
Brain: I understand but just hear me out. Remember how we want to get a 125 gallon fish tank? How about we plan out all the fish we're going to put in it!
Me: *groans*

Dear Brain; Why is it that you only choose to tell me all about my body's aches and pains when I'm trying to go to bed?

Brain: So what if people were randomly changed into animals out of the blue. Like a guy could be speaking in a meeting and all of a sudden he's a horse?
Me: *groans*

If I Ever- Days Off

If I Ever become a manager of a place, in charge of scheduling everyone else for their shifts.
I think I would make a conscious effort to try and have everyone get a weekend off.
If I could manage it, maybe once a month.
If I couldn't, maybe every other month.

Because nobody likes to work every weekend.....
Yet some people have to....because that's how they're constantly scheduled.

I'd like to think I could give people what they wanted.
Like if they want to have 'two days off in a row' I could do that for them.
Give them two days away from work instead of one here and one there.

-True, some people like only having one day off before going back to work.

...but Basically if I was hiring people and getting their schedules.
I'd probably have them fill out a form. Asking about their preferences.
Like do they want two days off in a row every week.
How often would they want weekends off?
Would they be willing to work weekends?
etc.

And see if I could jimmy-rig it all so that everyone could get the type of schedule they wanted....and then a weekend off every now and then....

Yah once I got that down, maybe I could focus on the hours people wanted.....

Brain: Are all the windows and doors locked?
Me: Yes. Shush. ‬
Brain: You sure?
Me: Yes.
Brain: *proceeds to dream for the next hour about being unable to get windows and doors of dreamwork and dreamhome to properly shut and stay locked* *panics* ...
Me: Brain, do you even understand the idea of sleeping at night?

Not Ash...Snow?

I frowned, pushing my hands into the odd white substance. It was cold. Freezing to the touch. I jerked back. "What in the world is this?" I muttered.
"Snow." The young girl said raising an eyebrow. "Surely you've seen snow before. Frozen water. Comes in winter."
I frowned.
"Ash comes in winter, nothing else. It's a time of burning." I said grabbing a handful of the stuff. Even the rivers in the Spring didn't run this cold.
"Burning?" She asked in askance. "No, fires hardly burn here. It's too cold."
"Well they burn where I'm from." I said the crinkle between my eyes getting deeper. "It doesn't get this cold either."

-Inspiration from watching Narina -all the snow.

If I Ever -Texting

If I Ever become famous,

I think it would be fun to get a second 'burner' phone.
And give that number out to my fans.
So that they could text me whenever they wanted to.

Of course, this is if I become a famous author like I want to be.

So the fans would be texting me questions about the books, the characters, plots, future books.

Really, I think it would be fun just to interact with fans like that.

I mean, email and twitter and facebook may be better in the long run since I'm already on those all the time anyways....
But there's something more personal about being to text someone. (I would request no calls, because talking to people over the phone isn't my thing.)
But texting. That could be fun.

Of course, when my fame skyrockets and more and more people start texting me....
It may become impossible to be able to respond back...it may end up being that that phone would never stop getting texts....

And all the texts wouldn't be good texts I suppose...some would be rather negative....

Still.
I'd be curious to find out what would happen if I gave out a text number to fans....when I become famous. :)

If I Ever -Bowls

If I Ever own my own Pet Store.

The first thing I'm going to do is ensure that none of the fish I sell end up in fish bowls.

My store wouldn't sell them at all.
If people wanted fish, and wanted to put them in a bowl we would refuse service and the grounds of animal cruelty.

Because honestly.
What fish can be happy in a fish bowl? It's a tiny space that gets dirty really quickly especially if the people who buy them don't change their water as often as necessary.

No the smallest 'bowls' I would sell, would be kits that would have a filter included in them.
So at least the fish could have running water.

If I Ever -Abandoned Pets

If I Ever end up owning my own Pet Store, I would do things slightly different.

I would be the sort of pet store where we'd have official breeders that we work with to ensure that the animals we get from them to sell to customers, are healthy, vet approved animals. They would have everything they needed to be fit to sell.
Just like my current work place.

But.
The big difference,
Is that I would have a separate section of the store, dedicated to animals who have lost their homes.
Where we would accept said animals in when people decided that they couldn't take care of them any more.
And ensure that they would get a good home too.

I would probably discount those animals as well. Maybe have them be half the price of our animals already in the store.
To encourage people to go for them.
The only draw back would be that we couldn't guarantee their health at all, not knowing their past with their owners.
But it would get unwanted animals into a place that would care for them, instead of risking them getting tossed out on the street or something. :(